The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix
by Exotos135
Summary: Six tag teams of discount comedians compete in a "manzai" competition to determine who's the best comedian in all of Royal Woods! Rated t for minor swearing. CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST.
1. Intro and Twinstinct

The camera turned on and revealed a pair of reporters, one being Carol Pingrey, and the other being the same reporter from Lincoln's "butterfly effect" dream, standing outside what looked like a stadium.

"Goodnight, citizens of Royal Woods!" Carol chirped.

"N-No, Carol, you're supposed to say good _day,_ " the reporter lady explained. "It's morning time, after all."

"Oh, okay! I got it!" Carol took a deep breath and tried again. "Goodgay, citizens of Royal Woods-!"

"Good _day_! Day! You know what? I'll do it myself," the reporter lady did the same and spoke, "Good day, citizens Royal Woods! I'm Catherine Butterfly."

"And I'm Lori Loud!" Carol added with a cheerful tone.

"No you're not!" Catherine growled before turning back to the camera, "It's us, Catherine Butterfly, and Carol Pingrey."

"And welcome to..."

The camera cuts to the center of a stage, with a large board high in the ceiling sporting the name of the event, which both reports exclaimed with excitement: "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"The first comedy-centered grand prix of Royal Woods-" Catherine started.

"And possibly the only one ever!" Carol interrupted.

"Dealing with about six groups of two people who compete in order to figure out who's the best comedian in all of Royal Woods!" the camera then cut to the judges, who were basically Polly Pain, Haiku, Tabby, Giggles, and... Maggie, in that order. "They'll have a maximum of ten minutes to show their acts, and after each of their routines are done, both members will be judged by the judges you see here. The member with the most votes will move on to the next round, while the other one will be taken to the losers' corner."

"However, if there were to be a tie, both members will move to the next round!" Carol eagerly added. "And don't worry, after the round is over, one of the members who was taken will be selected to take a potential revival act with one of the judges. If they fail that, though, they're out for good."

"Now, before we present the groups who'll be competing, let's go see what our judges are thinking!" the reporters leaned their microphones closer to the judges. "How does it feel to be on the judging seat for the first time?"

"I gotta say, I never thought I'd find myself judging something like this, but when Lincoln told me it would be comedic, I just couldn't resist!" Polly explained, raising her fists in excitement. "Besides, it's always nice to see how funny people act, and then telling them how funny they really are! That's kind of just how I roll."

"When Lucy told me she wanted me to judge this comedy thing, I was a bit nervous about it, specially since I'm more used to more dramatic, and pardon the bluntness, poetic works," Haiku remarked, gaining a smile as she added, "But then she showed me a video about this "manzai" or stand-up comedy thing she was talking about, and I thought that did look like something I could judge. And here I am now."

"I'm a clown in-training, with a particularly low set of standards when it comes to humor, though I definitely have a better sense of humor than my friend, Luan." Giggles... giggled. "I'm pretty sure it would've been weirder if I hadn't accepted right away!"

"I, personally, thought it would be an interesting change of pace from all the rocking and rolling I'm more accustomed too, though the duo part doesn't change at all," Tabby explained with a shrug. "After all, these type of comedies are based around pairings right? And you know what they say, opposites attract! So let's hope these pairs are opposite enough to attract my laughter!"

"In my opinion, isn't comedy just tragedy hidden by laughter?" Maggie asked, no doubt surprising the reporters. "In the end, tragedy will be involved to some extent, so nevertheless, why not try to hide our obvious discomfort with some cheerful chuckles and so on?"

Then the reporters walked to a counter that would show the teams. "And now, let's see what teams we got participating on the first round!" Catherine remarked, clearly still troubled from what Maggie said.

The images flashed as fast as possible before landing on the tag teams: first the twins, then Ronnie and Lincoln, Luna and Luan, Lynn and Lucy, Clyde and Lisa, and Leni and Lori. Soon after that, the reporters recapped the teams; first Catherine, then Carol, and so on and so forth.

"First is Twinstinct, formed by the twins Lola and Lana Loud!"

"Next after them is Tough Love, formed by Ronnie Anne Santiago and Lincoln Loud!"

"After them comes Rock n' ROFL, formed by Luna and Luan Loud!"

"Right afterwards is Olympic Requiem, formed by Lynn and Lucy Loud!"

"Soon after that comes Brainiacs, formed by Clyde McBride and Lisa Loud!"

"And finally, we have, formed by Leni Loud and Carol Pingrey!"

"Lori Loud!" Catherine snapped at her partner. "I already told you that you're not Lori!"

"Of course I am!" Carol growled in return. "I'm not very smart, I love fashion, and I have a bad habit of walking like a dinosaur-"

Catherine narrowed her eyes. "That's Leni! You're totally talking about Leni!"

Carol folded her arms. "That's, like, not true at all!"

"And now you're even TALKING like her!" Finally, Catherine gave up. "You know what? Let's move on to the first act so my IQ doesn't deflate into nothingness."

"Fair enough! Begin the presentation!"

Everything went dark, and after a second or so, a screen lit up and showed the twins looking confident as a narrator spoke:

"Born at the same time, but being so different to each other, the Loud twins have decided to work together to create an uprising of laughter! Will they be able to overcome their differences to actually be funny for once?! Give a round of applause to Team 1: Twinstinct!"

Then it cut to the shadowed stage, with both twins clearly in there, shrouded in shadows. After the trumpets blared, the lights turned on and it revealed that Lola was greeting in the same manner as the queen of England, while Lana looked at her with a confused look.

"Hello and good day to you all, lovely people!" Lola greeted. "I'm Lola!"

"And I'm Lana!" the plumber tomboy exclaimed, turning to the audience.

Then the twins said in unison: "And we're twinstinct! Pleased to have you here today!"

"Yep, really pleased!" Lana added. "And we deeply apologize to all those who were forced to come here!"

"Wait, what?!" Lola flinched as the audience chuckled. "What are you talking about? Why would anybody be forced to come here?!"

"Well, you don't have the best reputation around Royal Woods, sis," Lana argued, narrowing her eyes as she continued, "And seeing how aggressive you are when it comes to beauty pageants..."

Suddenly, Lana-looking like a sly briber-shot a glare at her sister as she asked, "Did you bribe some people into coming here?"

"I didn't do that!"

And then, now looking like a delinquent, the plumber pounded her fists as she added, "And threatened them when they declined?!"

"I didn't do that either!" everything turned to normal as Lana and the audience laughed. "Every single member of the audience came here by their own free will!"

The prima donna turned to the audience. "Right everyone?!"

The people just laughed as Lana waved her hand in a dismissive manner and said, "Relax, sis, I was just joking! Let's focus on the skit, do you have anything in mind?"

"Actually, I do have an idea for a skit," Lola turned back to her twin sister, sporting a hopeful smile. "Remember those roleplays where people took on specific roles? Like a princess, dragon, and so on?"

"Aw, yeah, those were the best!" Lana exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'd love to do one for our skit."

"I don't see anything wrong with that! Though I have to question what monster will you be-"

"I won't play as a monster!" Lola growled while Lana and the audience giggled in unison. "Look, I'll be a princess, you'll be my knight, I'll be kidnapped by a dragon, and you'll come save me, got it?"

"Ah, princess, the most useless of all royal titles, no wonder you want to roleplay as one of those!"

"Just start the skit already!"

"Alright, fine, geez."

 _Lana's skit, Take 1_

In the middle of a large room, Lola danced with a random noble while Lana, roleplaying as a knight, stood by nearby. Suddenly, a giant dragon burst through the ceiling and kidnapped Lola!

"Help me!" the princess yelped.

"Don't worry, your highness!" Lana raised her sword. "I know what to do!"

A couple seconds later, it cut to a funeral where everybody-dressed in black clothing-heard as the pope finished his sermon. "And so, we wish she may have peace, wherever she is now-"

"Wait a minute!" Lola shouted.

Everybody returned to the stage, with Lana chuckling alongside the audience as Lola promptly scolded her, "What's with the funeral?! Who died?!"

"I'm pretty sure _you_ did," Lana answered.

"Me?! How did I die?! I thought you went to save me!"

"Why would I? It's not like anything of value was lost."

And as the audience laughed some more, Lola gasped and took a step back. "The princess was kidnapped, and you think nothing of value was lost?!"

"I'm pretty sure the monarchs of an entire kingdom would have more than one heir to the throne, or at least try to have more than one," Lana argued, folding her arms.

"Well, you bring up a good point, but you were still supposed to save me!" Lola whined. "Look, let's just do this again, and do it properly this time, okay?"

"Okay, let's try this again."

 _Take 2_

Same thing happened, up and including the dragon kidnapping Lola. "Help me!" Lola called, shedding tears of terror.

"Don't worry, your highness!" Lana raised her sword and chased after the dragon. "I'll save you!"

A couple moments later, it cut to a funeral where everybody-dressed in black clothing-heard as the pope finished his sermon. "And so, we wish she may have peace, wherever she is now-"

"Hold on!" Lola shouted, with the audience's laughter booming in the background. "That is almost exactly what happened last time!"

"No it isn't," Lana vehemently explained.

"Oh yeah?! What's different?!"

" _I_ died this time."

"Wait, what?! D-Did you die facing off against the dragon or something?"

"Yeah, she ate me and you nearly effortlessly-"

"I still wind up dying too?!"

By the time the twins decided to pause, the audience applauded and laughed out loud. Either they were an easy crowd, or the skit was that good. Probably the first option.

"Okay, you know what? How about you negotiate something with the dragon?" Lola suggested, forcing a nervous smile. "After all, if the dragon is smart enough to kidnap me but not do anything else, then maybe he'll be smart enough to negotiate, right?"

"Nope, it's totally hopeless," Lana retorted. "The dragon ate both me and you alive."

"And probably got indigestion soon afterwards," Lola pondered with a shrug.

Then, with a smile, Lana added, "And nothing of value was lost."

This earned her a hit in the head from Lola, "Stop saying that!"

Lana and the audience laughed, though Lana finished quickly so she could bring something up, "Hey, since we did what you wanted to do, can we do something I'd like to do?"

Lola crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "I guess that's just how it goes, right? And we do still have some time to do this..." Lola put on a pouty face. "Alright then, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, remember those people who have tried to dig a hole to China?" Lana asked, and as Lola nodded, it was rather clear from her holding back her laughter that she wasn't taking the plumber girl at all. "I always wanted to try digging one of those."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I even tried to dig such a hole in our backyard yesterday!"

Some giggles escaped Lola's mouth. "A-And why did you even dig it?"

"I thought it'd be a good, fast and efficient way to buy Chinese food," Lana answered rather casually. "I couldn't get really far, though-"

Suddenly, Lola burst laughing, and Lana was taken aback by this. And surprised too.

"What's so funny?"

"Of course _you_ wouldn't be able to dig a hole to china, Lana, that's just impossible!"

Lana put on a cat-like smile. "...Are you implying you would be able to dig it?"

Lola's laughter instantly stopped. "What are you talking about?"

"The way you said that last line implies that _I_ can't do it, but _you_ can!" Lana took out a shovel and handed it to Lola. "So show me! Dig a hole to a china!"

"Where did you even get the shovel?!" Lola complained as she put the thing on the ground. "And what makes you think I'll just do it like that?! I hate getting dirty!"

Lana narrowed her eyes. "Chicken."

"What?" Lola bluntly asked.

"You heard me, Chicken."

"...Do I look Lynn to you? Do you really think that-"

Lana started to move around like a chicken, then did the call of a rooster, which Lola immediately caught on. "That's a rooster! That's definitely a rooster!" the diva complained as Lana turned back to normal, and once again laughed in unison with the audience. "Look, if you're going to mock me just to get me to do what you want me to do, then you need to do it right!"

Lana looked genuinely confused. "How do I do that?"

Lola took a deep breath and immediately formed the "wing" motion with her arms. "First you put your arms like this."

"Uh huh?"

Lola promptly flapped them up and down. "Then you flap them like this, see? Up and down."

Lana held back her laughter. "Yep, what's next?"

"Okay, this part is important: You say "buck buck!" and then call the person you're insulting a chicken, got it?" Lola instructed, with her twin only nodding in agreement, since speaking would cause her to laugh. "Okay, let's recap: Put your arms like wings, flap them up and down, go "buck buck!" and-"

Then she realized something:

"Why am I teaching this to you!?"

Lana and the audience burst up laughing as Lola returned to normal, blushing as red as a tomato.

"Why would I teach you how to mock me?!" Lola grabbed the shovel as she said, "You know what, let's make a deal; If I do manage to dig the hole to China, you'll stop mocking me, got it!?"

Lana stopped laughing and wiped off her tears. "The only one mocking you was yourself, sis-"

"I don't care! Just promise me to stop mocking me if I dig the hole!"

"Alright, if you dig the hole, and if it reaches China, I'll stop mocking you."

"The deal is sealed, then!" Lola raised her shovel victoriously. "Let's get on with it!"

 _Lola's skit, take 1_

Lola, holding the shovel, walked to the backyard and dug a hole as she shouted:

"Bye, family! I'm off to buy Chinese food!"

She continued to dig the hole up until she went straight into it, and then continued to dig, hoping she would eventually reach her destination. It was China, if you're curious. She dug for a while, but eventually, she managed to dig a hole all the way to... What looked like a city filled with Hispanic people.

"Wait, where am I?" Lola asked as she took a look around.

She eventually reached a sign saying "Welcome to Albuquerque!" in bold letters.

"Albuquerque?!" Lola exclaimed as the audience laughed like crazy. "Seriously-I wound up at Albuquerque?!"

"I guess you did a wrong turn underground?" Lana chuckled. "But still, ya didn't reach China, so the mocking continues."

"W-Wait!" Lola got on her knees and clasped her hands. "Let me try again, please!"

Lana took a deep breath. "Alright then, but since we're pressed for time, this is your last chance, got it?"

"G-Got it!"

 _Take 2_

Everything went as it did before, with Lola digging a hole and this time, she made sure not to take a wrong turn straight at albuquerque. However, when she came out the other end, she saw she once again wasn't in China; Rather, she was in somewhere that had a white-ish ground... And a couple holes... And it was apparently nighttime...

She could also see the Earth in the horizon, and from this, she immediately realized where she was.

"I'm on the moon?!" Lola exclaimed as it cut to a shot of the moon, with a red arrow pointing at the exact spot Lola was, all while the audience rioted in laughter. "How did I even get here?!"

Everything turned back to normal as Lola, still utterly baffled, folded her arms and asked, "How did I reach the freaking moon?!"

"Well, you've always been something of a lunatic, sis," Lana guessed, trying to hold back her giggling. "Maybe you were feeling homesick and dug to the moon by accident?"

"That makes no sense!" the prima donna shouted.

"Which by lunatic standards, means it does make sense!" Lana argued with a "know-it-all" tone.

"I'm not a lunatic!" Lola hissed, causing the audience to laugh some more. "Stop mocking me!"

"Uh-uh-uh, remember the deal, sis: If you dig a hole to China, I'll stop mocking you," Lana pointed out, causing her sister to get teary-eyed. "You didn't come anywhere near close to China, so the mocking won't stop."

So Lola whined, "So not only did I dig all the way to albuquerque and, somehow, the moon, for nothing, but I also got dirty for my troubles!?"

Lana shrugged and chirped, "And nothing of value was lost!"

Followed by Lola snapping, "Stop saying that!"

Then both twins, in a cheerful tone, finished with:

"Thanks for watching, everybody!"

The screen went black in the form of someone literally digging it away as the audience cheered and applauded the duo, up until there was nothing but silence.

.

.

.

The screen turned back on with the audience cheering and applauding, as it was revealed the twins were now alongside the reporters. "Well, that was certainly a great way to begin the grand prix," Catherine remarked before turning to Carol. "Don't you think so, Carol?"

But the blonde reporter didn't answer, and just continued to stare at the camera with a smile. "Carol?"

Same response. "Lori?"

"Well, you sure bet it was, Catherine!" Carol spoke, then turned to Lola as Catherine muttered "of course" in exasperation. "By the way, did you bring anything back from albuquereque?"

"No, the souvenirs over there were way too expensive," Lola rolled her eyes. "And they also only accepted payment in "euros", whatever those are."

"How about the moon?" Carol frowned. "Did you bring anything back from the moon?"

"Most of the stuff over there was some sort of weird-looking thing with an equally weird-sounding name," the diva folded her arms. "And even if I could buy any of those, they only accepted payment in "sanity", and I neither brought any with me or even know what kind of currency that is."

"Really? Aw geez," Carol turned back to the camera, suddenly happier than before. "Anyway, let's see what the judges think!"

Suddenly, a deep voice shouted:

"JUDGING!"

It cut to the five judges smiling-or in Maggie's case, frowning-as dramatic music played up until it dropped a beat and turned into silence. After a couple seconds, the scores were revealed:

Polly: Lola

Haiku: Lana

Tabby: Lana

Giggles: Lana

Maggie: Dragon

"Three points for Lana, one point for Lola, and one point for... The dragon?" Catherine recapped, clearly baffled by the results. "W-Well, let's ask the judges what's this about! Maggie, why are you voting for the dragon?"

"It's a vote for poetic pity," the emo teen answered.

"Poetic... Pity?"

"Yes, I could feel the dragon's pain as he kidnapped not once, but twice, one of the most incompetent princesses I've ever seen, and then I felt sorry for him when he got indigestion from eating those girls. But most of all, this is a vote for spite against the princess."

"Oh, so you're voting for Lana?"

"I'm voting for anybody but the princess."

"That works, I guess," Catherine turned to Polly Pain. "Polly, you were the only one who voted for Lola, why?"

"Well, I'm a big fan of chickens, both as animals, and as food," the roller skater answered, with the audience-and even Catherine-laughing in response. "And her impression of a chicken was really good, it certainly entertained me! So, I gave her my vote just for that."

"I dug all the way to the moon, and my chicken impression is why you gave me your vote?!"

To add insult to the injury, Polly's answer was just a confused "You did other things?"

Lola's silence was self-explanatory.

"Well, with that out of the way, everybody knows how this works!" Catherine said as Cristina popped up, holding a "loser" brand magnet. "Lana will move on to the next round, while Lola will be taken to the loser's corner."

Suddenly, Lola felt herself being pulled by her pearl necklace. "Hey! If you're gonna drag me there at least do it by grabbing my ears!" Cristina promptly turned off the magnet, aimed it at Lola's earring, then turned it back on and pulled Lola by her pearl earring. "Ouch! I take it back! This is much worse!"

Lana went to help her twin sister as Catherine promptly spoke, "Next group is Tough Love, but they'll be given a couple minutes to prepare their acts. Until then, stay tuned for, "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"See ya!" Carol chirped, waved her arm up and down wildly.


	2. Tough Love

The camera turned on to show Carol and Catherine staring at it, while the audience applauded. "Thanks for waiting, everyone! Tough Love's act is ready and we're prepared to continue with the grand prix!"

"I like cereal!" Carol suddenly chirped.

"Um, interesting, if rather pointless, little factoid, Carol," Catherine remarked as the audience chuckled. "Anyway, begin the second presentation!"

Everything went dark and, like before, a screen popped up, revealing Ronnie and Lincoln smiling at the camera... While also lifting their inder and middle fingers on the back of the other's head.

"The only son of a big family, and a bully who's heart grew three times bigger ever since she met him! Will they manage to cause a comedic uproar with more than just their baffling relationship?! Give a round of applause to Team 2: Tough Love!"

It cut to the shadowed stage, with Ronnie and Lincoln in there as well. And once the trumphets blared, the lights turned on and revealed the duo waving hello. "Greetings, everyone!"

"I'm Lincoln!"

"And I'm Ronnie Anne!"

"And we're Tough Love!" the duo pulled a pair of peace signs. "Glad to have you here today!"

"So, let's try to do our best, alright?" Lincoln spoke.

"Yeah, let's do our best!" Ronnie raised her fist in excitement.

Lincoln frowned. "Although-"

Ronnie frowned as well. "What's wrong?"

"Well, you saw how good the twins' act was, and after us comes Luna and Luan's act-"

"They'll be a piece of cake!" Ronnie waved her hand, then pulled a thumbs up. "A chocolate cake, even!"

"I know, but after them come Lynn and Lucy, then Clyde and Lisa, and finally Lori and Leni," Lincoln folded his arms and forced a nervous smile. "With so many different acts with so much variety, I just can't help but feel like it'll be very hard, if not impossible, for us to win this thing-"

"Lincoln, we both know it's mostly about having fun, so don't worry about winning, okay?"

"But what will the twins think about seeing us lose?"

"I'm sure Lana and Lola won't mind-"

"Lana and Lola? I was talking about _our_ twins."

Ronnie jumped back and shouted, "Where did that come from?!" as the audience laughed and applauded. "W-What twins are you talking about?"

Lincoln matter-of-factly stated, "The ones you'll give birth to in ten or so years?"

Ronnie promptly slapped him. "As if!" she shouted, as the audience laughed some more. "Assuming we do start a family, what makes you think we'd get twins?!"

"What, you'd rather have triplets?"

*WHACK!*

"Don't increase the number! Look, just focus on what's happening right now: Our comedy routine!"

Lincoln got up and dusted himself. "Well, I didn't just bring up the family bit just for fun, you know? You see, I've been thinking about something."

"About what?"

"You know how people have a habit of shipping me with every girl in the world, from you, to my sisters, to older women, right?"

Ronnie fell speechless, which caused the audience to laugh out loud. "L-Let's assume that's supposed to be a normal question, in which case my answer would be yes."

"Well, the more I saw stuff about that, the more I thought: How am I supposed to support my children-?"

"People ship you with nearly every girl regardless of age, and you're mostly thinking of how to support the children?!" as the audience chuckled, Lincoln just nodded in a blunt manner. "W-Well, that's nice of you to think about, Lincoln, but-"

"-Anyway, as a result of that question, I've been wondering what job I'll get when I grow up."

"Huh, you know, sometimes I wonder that myself," Ronnie folded her arms. "But even so, shouldn't you focus on what you want to be when you grow up?"

"Oh, I already know that," Lincoln clasped his hands. "I'll be the proud father of-"

Ronnie smiled. "Two kids?"

Then, with a photograph showing Lincoln and Ronnie with twenty other kids, Lincoln bluntly answered, "No, twenty!"

"Too many!" Ronnie smacked Lincoln again. "You increased the number of kids way too much!" I mean, how are you supposed to support twenty kids?!"

"Well, anyhow, I'm planning to have a family eventually, so I'm going to need to get a job that will earn me a good deal of money,"

"Oh? What do you have?"

Lincoln promptly took out a Little piece of paper, then unrolled it, causing it to reach the duo's feet. Ronnie could only squeak, "Oh boy" with worry.

"Well, the first job I put on the was a surgeon."

"Oh yeah, those get paid quite a lot, seeing as they're responsable for treating people and that. I should know, mom's one of them-"

"I took it out a while ago. I figured I could come across many unpleasant cases, and I can be squeamish, so I took it out just to be sure."

"Oh..." the audience chuckled. "Well, I can understand, I guess-"

"The next job I put on the list was pediatrician."

"Oh, those doctors that treat children? You'd definitely make a good pe-"

"I took that out a moment ago. I thought about it some more, and then I wondered, what if I end up having to treat Chandler's kid, or Tetherby's grandkid, or the child to a person I don't like very much? So I took it out."

"Um..." the audience chuckled once more. "O-Okay, I don't see how that's such a problem you need to take it out, but I guess I ca-"

"The next job on the list is psychiatrist."

"That sounds like you and your entire family need right now."

"I took it out too-"

"Is there any job you kept in the dang list?!" Ronnie snapped, while the audience laughed and clapped. "Listen, just skip straight to the-you know what?"

"What?"

"Maybe we're looking at this in the wrong way? I mean, you can always work a lot in one specific job and save up for the future, right?"

"Huh, I forgot to take that into account."

"Yeah, let's do that. So, what would you legitimately want to work as?"

"Hmm... A news reporter sounds nice."

"A news reporter? Well, you have a reputation for being very informed, so, I guess that could work."

"Yeah, but would I be a good reporter?"

"Let's find out! Get a mic and start reporting, darling!"

Lincoln flashed a smug smile. "Did you just call me darling?"

"Get on with it!"

Everything went dark...

 _Lincoln's skit, take 1..._

Once the lights turned back on, it was revealed that the stage had chanced to look like a tv studio set, with Ronnie sitting on a table and holding a couple papers. "Greetings, Royal Woods, this is Ronalda Santiago on Royal Wood Daily!" the girl greeted. "To start today, we got Lincoln Loud on the morning news. Off to you, Lincoln!"

The screen was zoomed in to show Lincoln, holding a microphone close to his face and in his pajamas, yawning as he woke up and said "Thanks, Ronnie!" then he turned around to see the sun rising on the horizon. "Well,as you can see, the sun is still rising here in Royal Woods. And now, Lincoln with the scottish news."

"Wait, what?" Ronnie asked.

The screen cut to show Lincoln, wearing a scottish uniform, standing right next to a group of children. "Thanks, Lincoln me laddie!"

"Wait, what the heck?!"

"What a dreich day to be a child hater, for these laddies right here are being put up for adoption, and I don't mean to cause a stooshie, but these lads and laddies certainly have their faces tripping them!" Lincoln cheerfully exclaimed, pulling off a painfully unconvincing Scottish accent. "And now, Lincoln with da reporter gene!"

"H-Hold on!" Ronnie exclaimed.

It immediately cut to Lincoln, now wearing a lab coat and a pair of nerdy glasses, and apparently working on some chemicals in the middle of a laboratory. "Thanksh, Lincoln!"

"Hold it! Do you even know what you're talking about?!"

Lincoln adjusted his glasses, "Later thish evening, well dishcover what are the shide-effects of putting a reporter gene on thish chemical I've baptized ash "Ronneliush Annasantiagolobeluxia"

"Wait, you named that thing after me?!"

"And now, Lincoln with the general news!"

It soon cut to Lincoln sitting next to Ronnie Anne, but before he could say anything, she shouted "Hey!" and slapped him hard enough to leave a handprint. "Stop ignoring me, Lincoln!"

"What's wrong, Ronnie Anne?!" Lincoln whined as the studio set turned back to the stage. "You do know we're in the middle of a program, right?"

"Why did you switch between being someone who just woke up, a scotsman, and a freaking scientist?!"

"I can't be any of them?"

"No! You have to be an actual reporter!"

"But if I become a reporter, and only a reporter, how will my wage be enough to support the quintuplets-?"

"You upped the kid number again!" Ronnie smacked Lincoln again as the audience laughed. "Listen, is there any other job you'd like to do? Preferrably just one."

"Newspaper delivery man?"

"You mean a mailman? I guess that could work, but you need to know where every house and residence is, and Royal Woods is a pretty big place."

"No problem, I know the whole city layout like the palm of my hand!"

Ronnie promptly scoffed. "Oh, just like how _your_ face knows the palm of _my_ hand?"

The audience laughed as Lincoln proudly answered, "Yeah, very much."

That caused the audience to laugh even harder. "Oh really? Prove it!"

"Alright then, here I go!"

 _Lincoln's skit, take 2..._

In the peaceful streets of Royal Woods, Ronnie Anne-looking like she just woke up, with pajamas and everything-went outside and yawned as she stretched. It wasn't long before she noticed a shadowy figure approaching her house, which she recognized as Lincoln, acting as the mailman.

"Oh, here comes the mailman!" Ronnie flailed her arms up and down. "Hey, mailman! Over here!"

As the mailman approached her, however, he stood up, leaped off his bike, and then the scenery turned into a basketball field, with Lincoln approaching the hoop.

"And Lincoln "the mailman" Loud leaps off his bike and-"

Suddenly, Ronnie yelled, "Waaaaait!"

The stage turned back to normal, with the audience laughing out loud as Ronnie shot a glare at Lincoln, who sheepishly smiled and chuckled. "What was that all about?!"

"I was being a mailman!

"No you weren't, that was definitely not a mailman!"

"Yes it was!"

"You were being a basketball player!"

"...There's a difference?"

The audience laughed even more as Ronnie failed to find the correct words to retort with. "O-Of course there's a difference! I mean, what are you, Karl Mallone?!"

Lincoln remained a couple seconds silent, then asked "Who?"

"Exactly!" Ronnie snapped as the audience laughed even more and clapped. "You know what? I think I already got the point, how about we change topics?"

"Yeah, let's talk about this exact same topic, but applied to you!"

Ronnie was surprised, to say the least. "A-Applied to me?"

"Well duh, I mean, even if we don't marry each other, won't you try to work too in order to support your family?"

"Hmm, I guess you have a point there."

"I mean, how do you expect to support septuplets otherwise-?"

"Don't just assume the number of kids I'm gonna have, you jerk!" Ronnie slapped Lincoln once more, while the audience laughed and clapped. "But besides that, you do have a point: I need to work in order to have enough money for my family. Specially if my husband ends up being like my dad."

"Or me," Lincoln shrugged.

Then with a trollish smile, Ronnie answered "Specially if he ends up like you."

"Hey!" Lincoln shouted, then waited a moment before he slapped Ronnie and chirped, "Stay focused!"

"Right, right, focused!" Ronnie rubbed her head and scratched her chin as she thought about it. "Well, if I'm going to work... Well, do you wanna guess?"

"I can guess?"

"Yeah, I'll give you a couple hints of what I would pick as a job, and you have one chance to get it right, got it?"

"Yup! Let's do this!"

Ronnie took a deep breath before she started, "Okay, so, I'd practice in the middle of a building, with some sandbags, my students, and what-not."

"Uh huh?"

"I'd teach my students how to take defeat with pride, first and foremost."

"Uh huh?"

"And I'd be teaching a style of martial arts."

"Uh huh!"

"You figured it out?"

"A heavyweight jobber!"

"It's not related to wrestling!" Ronnie snapped, while the audience roared in laughter and applauded wildly. "And even if it was, do you really think I'd pick a job that's all about losing?!"

"Maybe if they gave you a big pay for it?"

"No! I'd be a teacher of karate!"

"Oh, like the movie?"

"Yeah, like the movie, but with a lot less obviously fake special effects."

"Yeah, those were the worst, but anyway, are you sure that's a good idea?"

Ronnie immediately got on the defensive. "What do you mean?"

Lincoln shrugged and shook his head. "Ronnie, you have to admit that with your reputation as the toughest girl in Royal Woods, who knows if you'll get that many students who can take your strict teaching methods?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Lincoln, it'll be totally fine."

"Oh really? Then show me!"

"Show you?"

"Show me!"

"Alright then, here we go!"

 _Ronnie's skit, take 1..._

Lincoln, looking a little younger and wearing an average dojo training outfit, walked into Ronnie Anne's dojo and exclaimed, "Sensei! I'm ready to-"

Ronnie, however, wasn't in the right state to get visits.

Why? She was in the middle of putting on her clothes.

So she covered herself and shouted, "Gah! I'm still getting dressed!"

The tomboy promptly kicked Lincoln right in the family jewels. "Pervert!"

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed. Oddly enough, however, he wasn't curled up on the ground in a fetal position, but rather, he just stood and shivered.

"Sorry, I had to hit you out of instinct-"

Suddenly, Lincoln quickly got up and growled, "What the heck is wrong with you?!"

Ronnie remained silent as the audience laughed once more, then asked, with a legitimately dumbfounded tone, "What do you mean?"

"Who gets dressed in the middle of a public dojo after it opens?!"

The tomboy pointed at herself, then put on a sheepish smile and stuck out her tongue. "No, you're not supposed to do that! Do you really think people are going to join a dojo known for it's master dressing in the middle of the main room, right where everybody can see her?!"

Ronnie thought about it. "Maybe if I got a couple more curves-"

Lincoln slapped the back of Ronnie's head, causing the audience to laugh. "Even with many curves, you shouldn't do that, it'll give your dojo a bad reputation. Let's try it again."

"Try it again, okay."

 _Take 2..._

Everything continued as normal, up until Lincoln entered the dojo. This time, Ronnie was nowhere to be seen. "Sensei, are you here?!" the boy called.

"Yep! Just give me a moment, I'm getting dressed!" Ronnie shouted from deeper inside the dojo.

A couple moments later, Ronnie came out wearing a black version of the standard dojo outfit, with a black belt tied around her waist.

"Alright, little grasshopper-"

However, she got a surprise when she saw Lincoln was in the middle of changing when she entered. "Gah! I'm getting dressed!"

Then he kicked her right in the babymaker. "Pervert!"

The stage turned back to normal as Lincoln stood up victoriously, while Ronnie laid curled up on the ground, clearly hurt by the strike. Not that the audience didn't find it funny, if their laughter was any indication.

Lincoln chuckled and said, "Sweet, sweet revenge."

"Why did it hurt me more than it hurt you?!" Ronnie wondered out loud as she slowly got up with help from Lincoln. "You're the one with the weird things on your crotch!"

"Elementary, my dear Ronnie, I'm wearing a jockstrap!"

"...A jokestrap?"

"No, a jockstrap."

"What did I say?"

"Jokestrap!"

"Isn't that it's name?"

"No, it's a jockstrap!"

"And why do you call your jockstrap a jokestrap?"

"I didn't! You were the one who called my jokestrap a jockstrap!"

"Wait, what did I call it?"

"A jockstrap!"

"And what is it called?"

"A jokestrap! I mean, jockstrap!"

"Well, is it a jokestrap or a jockstrap? Decide already!"

Lincoln hit Ronnie as he yelled "jockstrap!" at the top of his lungs, all while the audience roared with laughter and applauded. Shortly afterwards, Ronnie dusted herself and took a deep breath before asking, "So, were you saying?"

The White-haired boy's left eye twitched before he answered, "I'm wearing a jockstrap, which greatly limits the damage you can do to my family jewels. And really, if this is how you're going to act, then you leave me no choice!"

"W-Wait, Lincoln, what are you planning to do?"

"I'm leaving you Ronnie, right here, right now!"

"Leaving me?!"

"Yep, and I'm taking the kids with me!"

"You're taking them with you?!"

"Half of them!"

"Half of them?!"

Then, with over ten kids all over Lincoln, the boy shouted, "Yeah, I'm taking ten out of twenty!"

Ronnie popped out, also with ten kids all over her, and growled, "Wait, you upped the number back to twenty?!"

Then, suddenly cheerful again, the duo said:

"Thanks for watching everyone!"

The audience cheered and applauded as everything went black, symbolized by a "family moving" truck driving across the screen.

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal Lincoln and Ronnie Anne-still buried under the twenty kids-standing alongside the reporters.

"Well, that was quite the family-friendly act, wouldn't you say?" Catherine said, before noticing the duo. "Oh man, looks like those kids grew a liking to you two."

"I don't wanna think about how their clan is going to be like," Carol nonchalantly blurted, catching the duo's attention as the kids left them alone. "Instead, let's see what the judges think!"

"JUDGING!"

Like before, dramatic music played for a moment until it suddenly turned into silence, then everybody waited until the scores were revealed. These were the scores:

Polly: Lincoln

Haiku: Lincoln

Giggles: Ronnie Anne

Tabby: Ronnie Anne

Maggie: Jockstrap.

"Two votes for Lincoln, two votes for Ronnie Anne, and one vote for... A jockstrap?" Catherine recapped, and of course she asked, "Maggie, what's this about?"

"It's a pity jockstrap, for Ronnie Anne," Maggie folded her arms and shook her head. "I mean, the poor girl first gives birth to over twenty creatures, and then her impregnator kicks her there? Better be protected, just in case."

"I see," Catherine turned to the Sadie Hawkins' dates. "And what about you four? Why did you vote for a tie?"

"We ship it!" the four girls exclaimed in unison.

"Of course you do..."

"Well, anyhow, as it's explicitly stated in the rulebook, the member that gets the most votes will go on to the next round," Carol remarked, as she took out a cooking book.

"T-That's not the rulebook, Caro-"

Then Carol threw the book away. "But, seeing as Lincoln and Ronnie have the same number of votes, they both get to go to the next round!"

Lincoln and Ronnie cheered and shared a hug, though they quickly separated and left once they realized what they were doing.

"Next team is Rock N' Rofl, who'll be coming after a couple minutes of practice," Catherine explained. "Until then, be sure to stay tuned for, "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"


	3. Rock n' ROFL

The lights turned back on as the audience clapped and cheered, revealing both reporters ready to... Well, report. Carol, however, was seemingly unaware her back was turned against the camera.

"We're back, everybody!" Carol chirped.

"Um, yeah, we are, Carol," Catherine remarked as the audience chuckled. "Anyway, next team is Rock N' Rofl! Good luck!"

The lights turned off and, again, a screen popped up, revealing Luan and Luna smiling at the camera. However, while Luan looked like she was having a fun time, Luna looked like she just rolled her eyes with a forced smile.

"A teenager with a passion for music and a comedian who tries way too hard to be funny form an unlikely partnership today! Will they cause a laughing riot with their dichotomy? Give a round of applause to Team 3: Rock N' Rofl!"

The audience cheered as it cut to the shadowed stage, with Luna and what looked like Luan shrouded in shadows. Once the lights turned on, it was revealed that while Luna wore her normal attire, Luan was wearing a very baggy, light blue sweater.

"Good morning, everyone-" Luna greeted, up until she spotted Luan. "Wait, what?"

"Nice to see you today, everyone!" the comedian chirped.

"What's with that getup, Luan?"

"Well, I wanted to be prepared just in case we got a cold reception, hahaha! Get it?"

The ensuing silence spoke for itself.

"Anyway, I'm Luna!"

"And I'm the wife of a eskimo! Name's Luan!"

"And we're Rock N' Rofl!" the duo posed as the audience cheered and clapped, with Luna saying after the applauding stopped, "Nice to meet you today, everyone!"

"Yeah, nice to be here today! Right in the himalayas!" Luan added.

Luna shot a confused look at her sister. "What makes you think we're in the himalayas?"

"Where else could our jokes get such a cold reception?" Luan chuckled, then turned to the audience. "Am I right?"

Again, the silence spoke for itself. And literally seconds later, Luna hit Luan so hard, that not only did she visibly flinch, but she also went from wearing the sweater to wearing her everyday outfit.

"Why did you hit me?!" the comedian questioned as her sister shot a glare at her. "I was just trying to lighten the mood with some puns!"

"Luan, we already discussed what we were going to do during this, you agreed not to pull off any puns!"

"During the skits themselves, but in the parts before and after them. Come on, Luna, do you really hate puns that much?"

"It's not that I hate puns, it's just that seeing how you do them all the time, it makes me think you're not taking this whole comedy deal seriously."

Luan gasped and took a step back. "And seeing how you're a self-proclaimed comedian, I'd expect you to take it seriously."

"I can take it seriously!"

"Telling me won't cut it-"

Suddenly, Luan took out a toy kitchen knife. "Will this be enough?"

"Don't take what I say literally!" Luna snatched the toy knife as the audience laughed. "I mean, if you want me to believe you're taking this seriously, you have to show me."

"How?"

"Go one complete skit without doing any puns-"

"Wouldn't that cause the universe to implode?!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously so scared to go punless for a day you'd make up such a stupid excuse?"

"Luna, you know that puns are one of my tactics as a comedian, next to ventriloquism and pantomiming," Luan smiled for a moment before frowning. "It's just that I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I mean, what if I find myself surrounded by simply perfect set-ups for puns?"

"Then refrain from making the puns!" Luna sternly stated. "You're biggest obstacle is yourself, Luan."

"I'm still not sure if I'll be able to do it."

"Just give it a shot, please."

"Okay..."

 _Luan's skit, take 1..._

Luan woke up and stretched as she yawned. "Another day, another attempt to make people laugh with my humor," the comedian remarked as she got off her bed. "Now, I'll go get my trustworthy, wooden companion, Mr. Coconuts! Maybe my brother will-"

Suddenly, the stage turned to normal as Luna struck Luan with a rolled up newspaper, with the comedian yelping in pain as the audience laughed a little. "Why did you hit me just now?!" Luan whined, grabbing her head. "I didn't say any puns or anything!"

"You didn't do any direct puns, but you still did a subtle one," Luna sternly pointed out. "You look for your _wooden_ companion in our brother's room? Really?"

Without warning, Luan chirped up and said, "Oh, so you did get it, didn't you?"

"I did, but just because I did, doesn't make it funny," Luna shot a glare at Luan. "Now try again, with a different scenario, one less likely to set up a pun for you."

Luan thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "Uh huh! I got it!"

"What scenario did you pick?"

"You'll see soon..."

 _Take 2..._

Once the lights turned off and on again, Luan was now in the middle a kitchen, wearing a chef hat and with a baffled Luna by her side, who was also wearing a chef hat... And a moustache. "Hello! And welcome to cooking with Luan!"

"Wait, what just happened?" Luna asked, before grabbing her moustache and growling, "And why do I get the moustache?!"

"Easy, because it looks better on you," Luan giggled, then turned back to the audience. "Anyway, this is cooking with Luan, and today we-"

"No, hold on, wait!"

"What is it, assistant?"

"We need to change locations right now!"

"Why?"

"Doing a cooking show is just a recipe for disaster!"

Luan turned to Luna, sporting a playful grin, and continued to stare at her as she waited for her to... Do something. However, Luna just looked around as Luan's grin turned into an annoyed frown, and the audience laughed to break the silence.

"W-What?" Luna asked. "Am I supposed to do something?"

"Well, yeah," Luan answered in an "are you serious?" tone. "This is the part where you hit yourself for making a pun."

"I'm not hitting myself for that!"

Soon after she said that, Luna was left speechless-and kinda afraid-when Luan shot a glare at her and slowly leaned closer and closer towards her face, her frown growing wider and more aggressive over time.

Suddenly, Luan returned to normal, turned back to the audience and said, "Whatever, let's move on!"

"What the hell was that?!" Luna exclaimed as the audience laughed.

"Luna, could you be kind enough to pass me the bowl?"

"N-No, seriously, what the hell was that?"

"That was a request, silly," Luan shook her head. "I need you to do as I say if we want to make any progress in this cooking show. And again, I ask for a bowl."

Still confused at what happened, but not wanting to inquire her sister's wrath, Luna obliged and put a bowl in front of Luan. "Okay, we're going to teach you how to make chicken soup!" Luan promptly took out a soup can, opened it, then poured it on the bowl as she said, "First, you pour some soup on the bowl-"

Luna was quick to point out a problema, "W-Wait, hold on, I think you're supposed to _make_ the soup first."

Then, Luan took a chicken and put it on the bowl with soup. "Then, you put a live chicken on the bowl, and let it take a bath on it for a while."

"Wait, no! The chicken is supposed to be dead and cooked already!"

"Ssh! You'll freak out the chicken!"

Luna gave a look of bewilderment to the audience, who laughed out loud and clapped as Luan grabbed the bowl and said, "For the final step, you must let the chicken bath in the soup for at least a minute, and then..."

Luan spun around for a moment, then threw the bowl of soup and chicken through the window, with Luna just barely ducking before the bowl was thrown. And so, with the bowl and chicken outside. Luna and Luan then watched as the chicken got up and ran away, crossing the street in the process.

"And that's how you make chicken soup!" Luan chirped as the audience laughed.

"What the hell was that all about?!" Luna whined, seemingly unaware Luan wasn't in the mood for her negativity. "There was no point to any of those things we just did!"

The main chef put a finger on Luna's mouth and said, "Oh, but there was a point, my dear, naive assistant; It was to know why the chicken... Crossed the road."

Luna struck Luan with the rolled up newspaper as the stage turned back to normal, and Luan shouted "ouch!" in a drawn out manner, and sounding similar to "yeah!" or a variation of such. And as she shouted that, the audience laughed some more and clapped, while Luna folded her arms.

"Why did you hit me this time?!" the prankster whined. "I didn't do any puns until the end!"

"First, you threw me in the middle of a cooking show without warning. Second, you wasted most of my time just to buil up to yet another pun," then Luna grabbed and twirled her moustache. "And third, why do I still have the moustache?!"

Luan promptly grabbed and ripped off Luna's moustache, causing the rocker to grab her lips and whine as Luan said, "It's a removable moustache, just take it off like this."

Then she added, "And besides, if you didn't enjoy my skit, how about we focus on trying to deal with _your_ bad habits?"

"My bad habits?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, but why do you say it as if they were plural? I mean, you making puns all the time is the only bad habit I can think of related to you."

"Oh, Luna, I love you as a sister, but you're really flawed too, you know?"

"Well, what are these bad habits you're talking about?"

"Oh, well, where do I start? Hmm..."

Suddenly, Luan spun around until she turned into a stereotypical British woman: Crooked teeth, old-fashioned clothing, and holding a cup of tea in one hand. "You're always speaking with a British accent!"

"Is looking like a stereotypical British woman really necessary?!" Luna growled as the audience laughed.

"No British men were offended during this skit."

"What about the British _women_?!"

"They weren't so lucky. Anyway-"

"No, don't "anyway" me! Apologize to the British women all over the world!"

Suddenly, Luan spun around and then turned into a surfer, complete with a skimpy bikini. "You're also always trying surfing the crowds, bra!"

"...That surfer gal impression is even worse than the British one."

Luan spun once more and turned back to normal. "And finally, you're always snapping your guitars in half!"

"I'm not snapping them all the time," Luna stated. "I only do so _most_ of the time."

"How is that any better?!" Luan snapped. "You know those things can cost from dozens to hundreds to even thousands of dollars! And yet you continue to snap them in half like you could just buy another one!"

"Hmm... I think I can see your point."

"You think?"

"Luan, can you help me deal with this?"

"Well, first of all, give me the newspaper," Luan extended her hand. "This is what we'll do: You do a skit, like I did before, and if you're about to do your bad habit, I'll hit you with this thing."

"Are you sure that's going to work?"

"Yeah, it worked 72% on me."

"What about the remaining 28%?!"

"Just do the skit already!"

"Ugh, fine..."

 _Luna's skit, take 1..._

In the middle of the messy living room, Luna got up from under the carpet, stretched and yawned as she opened her eyes. And suddenly, Luan struck her with the newspaper, and the stage turned back to normal in an instant.

"Why did you hit me?!"

"Do you honestly think I wouldn't hit you to verify the newspaper worked?" Luan argued.

"Before I even start my bloody skit?!"

"Okay, I probably went a bit too fast, but it was still worth a try. I mean, seeing as you didn't want to use it on yourself earlier, I'd figure you had rigged it to only hurt me or something."

"It's a newspaper!" Luna snapped in return. "How could it be rigged!?"

"...Good point, still, the scene you used is a way too easy way to deal with your habit, I mean, there aren't even any guitars around!" and as Luna got up, Luan continued to explain. "Look, try a different scenario, and one where you'd be tempted to snap a guitar in half."

"In rage?"

"In rage, in bliss, in ignorance, anything works as long as it makes you want to snap something in half!"

"Alright..."

 _Take 2..._

Luna was rocking out to a song in her bedroom, while imagining her surroundings as her in the middle of a large concert. Then, just as she got ready to snap her guitar in two, a police car suddenly burst through the wall and Luan-wearing a police outfit and holding a megaphone-came out of the car and shouted, "Put your hands in the air!"

"What the bloody hell?!" Luna exclaimed as the stage turned back to normal. "How did you drive a car through the wall?!"

"Lady, please do as you're told, and put your hands in the air!" Luan exclaimed.

"Stop acting like a police woman!"

Luan remained silent for a moment, then yelled through the megaphone, "Miss, please put the guitar down!"

"Cut it out!" Luna growled as the audience laughed. "First of all, our bedroom is on the second floor, how did you even manage to get the car to crash through it?!"

"I made the car jump-"

"That only brings up even more questions!"

"Lady, just do as told and nobody gets hurt, now put the guitar down."

Luna, seeing her sister wouldn't react until she did as told, put the guitar down and raised her arms... And then Luan hit her, not with the newspaper, but with a fish, causing the audience to laugh some more.

"That is what you get for not obeying immediately!" Luan growled.

"Ugh, why did you do that?!" Luna took out her tongue. "Now I'm hurt and I stink!"

Suddenly, Luan turned to the audience and flashed a smile. "Just like my humor!"

And Luna snapped, "Take this seriously!"

Then, in unison, the duo said, "Thanks for watching everyone!"

.

.

.

After a quick commercial break-that didn't even happen-the lights turned back on and revealed Luna and Luan standing with the reporters to their sides, and the audience cheering and clapping

"Well, that was... Quite a quick finale, don't you think?" Catherine inquired with a nervous smile.

"I know, it's just that I'm not used to incredibly long acts," Luan explained, rubbing her hair nervously. "So, I needed to try and prompt Luna to end the act with the joke we agreed on."

"You agreed to end with a pun about how your comedy isn't that good?"

"Well, it's all subjective in the end, so-"

"Speaking of subjectivity, it's time for the judges to give their scores!" Carol cheerfully interrupted. "Judges, if you'd please!"

"JUDGING!"

Trumpets blared as the quartet waited for the scores to be given, and eventually, this came out:

Polly: Luna

Giggles: Luna

Haiku: Luna

Tabby: Luan

Maggie: Luna

"Wow, four votes for Luna, and only one for Luan!" Catherine remarked in amazement. "W-Well, let's ask the judges, Tabby, why did you vote for Luan?"

"Well, it would be incredibly unfair and biased if I had picked Luna, my BBFF, automatically, wouldn't it?"

"BBFF?"

"British Best Friend Forever," Tabby explained. "And besides, anybody who can make a car jump up high in the air, make a rockstar drop her guitar, then slap her with a fish, and get away with it, has my respect!"

"Okay, got it," Catherine turned to Maggie, who looked as deadpan as ever. "Maggie, this is the first time you judge correctly, so, why did you pick Luna over Luan?"

"Luan's type of comedy cannot survive a long act, as she just mentioned," Maggie explained, her stare growing stern. "Therefore, getting rid of her as quickly as possible is a merciful way to spare her the humilliation. Besides, the last act was so rushed, it wasn't even funny-"

"Okay, everybody got that, Judge Maggie," Catherine said as Luan was taken with Cristina to the loser's corner and Luna went with the winners. "Now, next team after the break is Olympic Requiem, but until then, stay tuned for "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"See ya!" Carol chirped.


	4. Olympic Requiem

The lights turned back on, and it revealed Catherine and Carol nearby the stage. "And we're back, everyone, with team number four!" Catherine remarked, hoping Carol wouldn't do anything weird.

"Olympic Requiem!" Carol chirped.

Then, in unison, the duo said, "Good luck!"

The lights turned off and, again, a screen popped up, revealing Lynn and Lucy staring at the camera. Lynn pulled a smile and peace sign, while Lucy just... Stared.

"A diminituve athlete with an attitude problem, and a deadpan goth who couldn't care less about anything! Can this unlikely pairing make you laugh at something beyond their paradoxic relationship? Give a round of applause to Team 4: Olympic Requiem!"

The audience cheered as it cut to the shadowed stage, with Lynn and Lucy on the stage. Once the lights turned on, Lynn waved hello, while Lucy was revealed to be holding a shovel.

"Good evening, every-" Lynn greeted, only to be surprised when she saw the shovel. "Wait, what?!"

"Hi everyone," Lucy deadpanly greeted.

"Lucy, why did you bring a shovel?"

"I wanted to dig our act a premature grave."

Lynn tried to process what that meant as the audience laughed, then said, "W-Well, that won't be necessary, you can put it down now, please?"

Lucy shrugged, then threw the shovel away, causing it to hit a cat far away. "Whatever, good evening everyone, we're Olympic Requiem."

"Y-Yeah! We're Olympic Requiem, and we're happy to be here today!" Lynn chirped as she turned back to the audience. "Anyway, Lucy, let's do our best!"

"And die trying."

"Well, maybe not that," Lynn scratched the back of her head. "But, you know Lucy?"

"What?"

"I'm starting to grow a bit worried about your physique, so to speak."

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Technically, there's nothing wrong, but I've noticed that you don't really practice any sports or anything. I can understand you being a gothic downbeat, but it never hurts to do some sports, right?"

"Hmm..."

"And besides, I think that would really benefit you! I mean, you have pale skin, you barely react to stuff, you peak with a deadpan tone, I wouldn't be surprised if people start confusing you for an undead zombie or something anytime soon!"

"...I fail to see the problem."

"Of course you do!" Lynn snapped as the audience laughed. "Look, just give it a try, okay?"

"I guess I could do that, but what sort of sport could a frail little girl like me do?"

"Hmm... How about lifting weights?"

"Okay, what dead body am I lifting?"

"Not that kind of weight!" Lynn took out a pair of dumbbells and handed them to her gothic sister. "Look, you'll lift these two dumbbells repeatedly until I tell you to stop, okay?"

"Alright, but I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Why are these called dumbbells? They don't look like bells, and they don't seem as dumb as Leni."

Lynn took a deep breath, all while the audience chuckled, then sternly stated, "Lucy, get to it already."

"Okay..."

 _Lucy's skit, take 1..._

Lynn and Lucy, both now wearing sports outfits and holding a pair of dumbbells, bounced up and down while training music played. "Alright, Lucy, I'll try to go easy on you, but you have to do your part on this too, got it?!"

"R-Right."

"Alright, then, left dumbbell up!"

Lynn raised the dumbbell on her left hand almost immediately, while Lucy tried her hardest until she managed to lift her left dumbbell.

"Left dumbbell down!"

Lynn lowered her left dumbbell, and needless to say, Lucy managed to lower hers effortlessly.

"Right dumbbell up!"

Lynn lifted her right dumbbell, while Lucy whined as she tried her hardest to lift her right dumbbell.

"Right dumbbell down!"

Lynn and Lucy did as before, but Lucy was notably gasping for air.

"Now, both dumbbell-"

"Waaiiit!" Lucy shrieked.

The stage turned back to normal and Lucy continued to catch her breath as the audience chuckled and Lynn folded her arms. "Oh come on, Lucy, you can't be tired yet! We just got started!"

"I'm not a gothic copy of you, Lynn!" Lucy complained, blaring an angry glare under her hair. "You said before that you knew I was pretty weak, and yet you acted like you expected me to follow your orders at the same time you did!"

"You're right, this was very unfair," Lynn scratched the back of her head, then got an idea. "I know! How about we do something different?"

"Sigh, what now?"

"Don't worry, you won't have to lift any heavy objects."

"Thank Goth."

"But you will need to run as fast you can-"

"I'm good at that."

"And then put a pole on the ground-"

"And dig a grave?"

"It's a pole, not a shovel, and then you'll have to leap over a bar!"

"... Somehow, that sounds both not nearly as hard and harder than what we did before."

"Nah, don't worry, you're gonna be fine! Now, before we begin, any questions?"

"Just one."

"Yeah?"

"Is there a grave ready for me?"

"You're not going to die!"

"Well, I'll take your word for it, I guess..."

 _Take 2..._

Lucy, holding a large pole, ran as fast as she could until she put the pole on the ground, jumped... And then the pole extended towards space, with Lucy screaming as Lynn shouted "Wait!" at the top of her lungs.

The stage turned back to normal as Lucy fell from space and crashed onto the floor, saying a deadpan "ow" once she hit the ground. "What was that all about?!" Lynn asked as the audience laughed. "That wasn't supposed to happen at all!"

"Oops, I probably shouldn't have borrowed the magic pole from that monkey boy," Lucy deadpandly remarked as she got up.

"No wonder you went into space, then!" Lynn growled as the audience laughed some more. "Why did you even take a weird magic pole in the first place?!"

"You never said I had to use a normal pole."

"I never said you needed to use a magical pole either! Look, it's clear you're not cut-out for sports stuff, so how about we drop the topic and talk about something else?"

"Like how you're not that good at drama or acting?"

"...What do you mean?"

"Lynn, I'm sorry, but just like how I'm not exactly the best at sports, you really don't seem like the best at drama or acting."

"That's just 'cause I'm not very interested in those things, I bet that if I put my mind into it, I'd be an amazing actress!"

"And I bet you wouldn't."

"I would!"

"You wouldn't."

"I would!"

"You wouldn't."

"I would, dang it!"

"Lynn, no matter how many times you tell me that, I won't believe you until you prove it yourself."

"Alright then, give me a dramatic scene and I'll blow your mind with my acting skills!"

"Perhaps. Give me a moment..."

 _Lynn's skit, take 1..._

Lynn and Lucy, both wearing funeral clothing, stood in front of a gravestone, with Lucy crying as Lynn watched deadpanly. "Lynn, would you like to say some words?" Lucy inquired.

Lynn nodded, took a step forward and then a deep breath. "For the guy who has gone on to the afterlife..."

Suddenly, Lynn put on an angry pouty face and snarled, "You had it coming, you massive son of a-!"

"Wait!" Lucy exclaimed.

The stage turned back to normal as the audience chuckled. "Why were you about to insult the dead?!"

"Well, you never specified what was my relationship to him before his demise," Lynn argued with a shrug. "I mean, for all we know, I could be too angry at what probably happened before to really think rationally."

"Still, you just don't insult the dead and expect to get away with it!" Lucy growled. "Look, just try to think of something sad that would make you emotional."

"Something sad?"

"Yeah, anything will do."

"Like the rival team winning the games?!"

"Try to think of something related to the dead."

"Like his haircut or something?"

"That doesn't insult him as well!" Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose as the audience laughed out loud. "Why would his haircut even make you sad?!"

"Maybe it's so pathetic I can't help but feel sorry for him?"

"You know? I think it's clear that it'll be easier for you to think of something if we do the skit, so let's do that, alright?"

"Fine, geez..."

 _Take 2..._

Everything went the same as before, at least until Lynn went to say some words about the dead. This time, she got on her knees and cried.

"Why..."

Then, she lifted her arms and cried to the heavens:

"Why did you die before paying me the ten bucks you owed me?!"

"Wait!" Lucy exclaimed.

And as the audience laughed and the stage turned back to normal, Lynn continued to cry and wip off her tears as Lucy scolded her, "Okay, what the heck was that all about?!"

"I just got into thinking, what if the person who died was one of my friends, of who I had a bet that they lost? But they literally died right before they could pay said debt!" Lynn argued, sounding like she was holding back tears again. "Doesn't it just sound like a horrible tragedy?"

"Lynn, are you seriously that much of a materialistic jerk?"

"But Lucy, they promised to pay it back!"

"Ugh, if that's how you're gonna act, Lynn, then you're dead to me."

"Figuratively?"

Then Lucy, holding a skeleton dressed like Lynn, bluntly stated, "Literally."

"Don't just kill me off like that!" Lynn complained.

Then the duo turned to the audience and said in unison:

"Thanks for watching, everyone!"

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal Lucy and Lynn standing right next to the reporters. "Well, that was certainly a more macabre skit than the last ones," Catherine remarked with a nervous smile. "Tell me, were the dark jokes all planned, or did some sneak in by accident?"

"If I can be honest, some were planned, some weren't," Lynn answered. "The last few were intentional, but the ones done during the training and other stuff were not planned at all. I was completely caught off-guard by them."

"Well, let's see if this little accident was for better or for worse," Carol remarked. "Judges, your scores, please!"

"JUDGING!"

Trumpets blared as the judges got ready to show their scores, which were eventually revealed to be:

Polly: Lynn

Haiku: Lynn

Giggles: Lucy

Tabby: Lynn

Maggie: Life Insurance

"Three points for Lynn, one point for Lucy... And one point for life insurane?" Catherine recapped before turning to Maggie. "Okay, at least this one makes more sense given the context, but still, why vote for that, Judge Maggie?"

"Simply put, I just want to make sure the Louds don't end up dying unnoticed," Maggie answered, narrowing her eyes. "After all, seeing how the majority of them are better clowns than Luan, and much more tolerable as a result, I don't wanna lose some good laughter in this sad world of ours."

"Huh... I can't tell if that's deep or not," Catherine remarked. "But anyway, Judge Haiku, Lucy is your friend but you voted for Lynn, why's that?"

"Well, I talked about it with my fellow judges, and it's like Luan's case: Her type of comedy isn't one that can last long in a competition like this," Haiku explained with a somber tone. "Lynn has an advantage because her comedy bring a lot of slapstick, which is something most people enjoy. Lucy, however, seems to specialize in dark comedy, which some people do like, but not that many."

"I see, that makes a lot of sense," the reporter agreed.

"Well, with most points, that means Lynn Loud is eliminated-" Carol blurted.

"N-No, Carol, it means she goes to the next round, while Lucy will be taken to the loser's corner," Catherine clarified as Lynn left and Lucy went to said corner. "Anyway, that was Olympic Requiem! The next team comes after the break, and remember, stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"See ya!"


	5. Brainiacs

The lights turned back as the audience cheered and clapped. "And we're back with the penultimate team of round one," Catherine said.

"Brainiacs!" Carol chirped.

Then, in unison, the duo said, "Good luck!"

The lights turned off and, again, a screen popped up, revealing Clyde and Lisa staring at the camera. Clyde smiled, while Lisa looked like her usual deadpan self.

"A geek with glasses and a genius Prodigy have joined forces! With their surprisingly large intellect, can they use their brains for something that's not scientific in nature? Give a round of applause to Team 5: Brainiacs!"

The audience cheered as it cut to the shadowed stage, with Clyde and Lisa on the stage. Once the lights turned on, Clyde put on a smile and waved hello... While Lisa pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Good morning, everyone, thanks for having us here!" then, after waiting for a couple seconds, Clyde's smile turned nervous as he asked his partner, "Come on, Lisa, say something."

And so, Lisa sternly asked, "How did I let myself be convinced to participate in this nonsense?"

"S-Something other than that, please!" Clyde blurted.

"I mean, I literally have a PHD without having even gone through kindergarten, and what am I using this intellect for? Some stand-up comedy," Lisa shook her head. "Seriously, it's pretty disappointing."

"Lisa, stop before they disqualify you already."

"Why should I? I'm just that angry about it."

"I know, but, don't you want to give this a shot, only this time?"

"I guess I could," Lisa took a deep breath, then said, "Good morning, everyone, thanks for having us here."

"Yeah, thanks for having us here."

"So, Clyde, have you memorized your boke lines?"

"What makes you think I'm the boke, whatever that is?"

"You know, the one that makes things wrong so the tsukkomi, in other words me, punishes them in a hilarious way."

"Okay, I get that, but again, why would I be the boke?"

"Because I could never do that, I'm far too smart and mature for it."

Clyde and the audience giggled before the dark-skinned geek pointed out, "You're four years old!"

"Yes, I'm a four year old prodigy," Lisa took out a PHD... Made out of cardboard. "A four year old with a PHD!"

"That's a cardboard copy of one!" Clyde snapped while the audience laughed some more. "That's totally not the real deal!"

"Of course it isn't, I mean, what sort of prodigy-let alone a sentient human being-would go out with their phd visible?!" Lisa threw the cardboard copy away. "That's an awful idea! Nobody would ever do that!"

"Okay, you got your point across, alright? I'll be the boke and you'll be the tsukkomi."

"Perfect!"

"Just one more thing."

"What?"

"What are we going to do for a routine?"

"Well, it has to be something you can mess up so I can hit you for comedy."

"And it has to fit me in personality too."

"Hmmm... I got it!"

"What?"

"You'll be an alien!"

The audience laughed out loud. "How does a being out of this world fit me?!"

"Oh no, I don't mean an extraterrestial."

"Then what do you mean by "alien?"

"A foreigner."

"I don't like where this is going."

"Wanna do that, or do you wanna stall for more time?"

"No, let's see how we can work this out."

"Got it..."

 _Clyde's skit, take 1..._

Clyde came out of a car that parked outside his house. "Well, time to start a new life in this foreign country," he remarked. "I wonder if people are going to receive me we-"

Suddenly, Clyde was hit by a laser and then put down a net, with Lisa-wearing a hazmat suit-coming into the scene soon afterwards. "Area 51, this is agent Lisa reporting-"

"Hold it right there!"

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed and Lisa nodded with a pleased look. "What the heck was that all about?!"

"You did good, Clyde."

"What are you talking about?!"

"You were a good boke, I mean, you did everything wrong."

"You were the one who did everything wrong!" the audience laughed some more. "I mean, I thought we were going to do a foreign person skit!"

"Yes, but I decided to switch it to one dealing about literal aliens, and I kinda forgot to tell you."

"When did you decide that?"

"At the last second."

"No wonder you did it wrong then!" some more laughter ensued. "Look, how about we try something else?"

"Like what?"

"Doing the foreign person skit properly."

"So you'll be a foreigner this time?"

"I was a foreigner all along! Look, just do your part correctly, got it?"

"Got it..."

 _Take 2..._

Everything went the same as before, up until Clyde walked to his house. "Okay, time to meet my new roommate!"

And so, Clyde opened the door... And found Lisa, dressed as an alien, sitting on the couch. "Greetings, earthling roommate-"

"Hold on!"

The stage turned back to normal again. "Lisa, you did it wrong again!"

"No I didn't, it was perfectly fine this time."

"No you didn't! You were dressed as a freaking alien!"

"That was a part of the script."

"Don't make me laugh, what foreigner would willingly have an alien roommate?!"

"It's a sitcom, Clyde, you're not supposed to question everything about it."

"Excuse me?!"

"It's Nickelodeon's newest hit series, Alien Suburbs!"

Clyde hit Lisa in the head with a newspaper, while the audience laughed out loud. "Why would the channel even greenlight such a concept?!" Clyde pondered while Lisa quickly healed from the strike. "Even if they did, that doesn't sound like something that would be a hit series."

"That's what you say now, but once it premieres, it'll be so well received for being a fresh breath of pace it will get ordered for three season, maybe even more," Lisa pointed out, before getting stars in her eyes. "And then, in a couple more years, I'll get to direct it's freaking movie!"

"And unfortunately, you already have the ego to go with it."

"How cool is that?!"

"Let's just switch topics; how about you're the boke and I'm the tsukkomi?"

Lisa immediately went back to her deadpan self. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Clyde narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you were such a good boke before, messing everything up-"

"You were the one messing up!"

"Whatever, point is, can you successfully switch roles?"

"Well, how about we do a skit to prove it?"

"Sure, but about what?"

"I'll be the president of the United States, and you're the leader of a race of alien invaders."

"Hmm... Sounds good enough, let's give it a shot."

"Alright!"

 _Lisa's skit, take one..._

Clyde sat on his presidential desk when he heard some explosions outside. "Oh no, the day of judgement has come!" Clyde got up and ran to his nearest window. "It's happening! The alien invasion!"

However, who he saw outside were not technologically advanced extraterrestrial lifeforms, but foreigners from all over the world led by Lisa, who was dressed like a tourist. "You will not deny us our freedom!"

"Hold on!"

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed and Clyde and Lisa exchanged displeased looks. "What was that all about?! Why were you a foreigner attacking my country?!"

"To prove that you're not a good tsukkomi, I mean, you basically messed up the joke without even trying-"

"You were the one who messed it up!" Clyde sighed. "How did you even manage to gather so many people under your cause anyway?"

"I promised them cake."

"That easily?" Clyde let out a little laugh before shouting, "It couldn't have been that easy! Most people have different opinions!"

"Most people are also stupid."

"Well, I guess I can't argue with that-But you still did it wrong! Look, let's try this again, but this time, be an actual alien, okay?"

"Fine..."

 _Take two..._

Everything went the same as before, but this time, Lisa appeared as an actual alien piloting an unidentified flying object. "Human, my kind has come to take over your planet, take us to your leader!"

"I am the leader here!" Clyde victoriously proclaimed. "And nothing you can do will ever make us surrender, alien!"

Alien Lisa narrowed her eyes. "In that case..."

Suddenly, Alien Lisa bowed and said, "We surrender!"

"Wait-"

The UFO dumped a bunch of gold on the "Take our riches!"

"Wait, wait, wait-"

Suddenly, Clyde was being proposed marriage by Alien Lisa.

"Make me your wife-"

"Stop this instant!"

The stage turned back to normal and the audience cheered and clapped as Clyde and Lisa said in unison, "You messed up again!"

"Wha-How did I mess up?!" Clyde exclaimed.

"You should've accepted my marriage proposal!" Lisa stated, then acted like she was crying. "Now I'm gonna grow into an old, cranky, lonely alien overlord!"

"You were an overlord?!"

"With a million children left without a father!"

"How many did you say?!"

"And an empire who'll keep expanding 'till it covers the entire galaxy!"

"I don't see why you'd be upset about that-"

"Except the Earth, 'cause you rejected my proposal!"

" _That's_ how you conquer planets?!"

Suddenly, Lisa went back to her deadpan tone as she answered, "Indeed, it's the marriage protocol: I marry the leader of the world, I introduce them to our customs, and then we discuss things over the next couple decades to make sure it all works out."

"Then you're not so much conquering the planet as you are assimilating your culture into ours!"

The audience laughed as Lisa thought about it. "Is there a difference?"

"More than one, in fact!" Clyde snapped. "Look, clearly this isn't working out."

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Clyde."

"What did I do now?!"

Suddenly, Lisa answered while dressed like Clyde, "For messing up every time."

"You're the one messing up!" Clyde growled.

Then the duo turned to the audience and said, "Thanks for watching, everyone" as the lights turned off and the audience clapped...

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal the team standing close to the reporters. "Well, that act was certainly out of this world," Catherine remarked before leaning her microphone to Clyde. "So tell us, Clyde, how much of the comedy concerning Lisa blaming you for messing was planned?"

"Quite honestly, I actually don't know," Clyde answered. "Lisa and I barely talked about our routine since, as you saw earlier, she wasn't exactly happy to be here. So when we actually had to do our routine, we just... Improvised all the way."

"So nothing was actually planned?"

"Not at all."

"Well, let's see if this unorthodox comedy routine has won over the judges," Carol said. "Judges, show us your score!"

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, only the scores were:

Polly: Lisa

Haiku: Clyde

Giggles: Lisa

Tabby: Lisa

Maggie: Marriage proposal

"One point for Clyde, three points for Lisa, and one point for... A marriage proposal?" Catherine recapped as Maggie blushed. "Judge Maggie, are you implying what I think you're implying."

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I want to propose marriage."

"To Clyde?"

"To Lisa."

"Wha-ha-hat?! Y-You can't be serious!"

"Sadly I am. Her method to conquer worlds has left me captivated, and I need to learn more about it."

"You don't have to marry her to find that out!"

"Hey, it's still worth a shot."

"Okay, you're creeping me out, so let's move on," Catherine turned to Haiku. "Judge Haiku, you were the only one who voted for Clyde, why's that the case?"

"Simple, I can relate to Clyde's extremely common tendency to mess things up."

"Lisa messed up more than I did!" Clyde whined.

"You both messed up."

"True..."

"Anyway, as per the rules state, Clyde is eliminated from the competition, while Lisa moves on to the next round," Catherine recapped as Clyde and Lisa left. "And with that said and done, I must ask, why are most of the winners members of the Loud family?"

"Well, you have to keep in mind they're very numerous and are the only ones who immediately accepted the invitation," Carol pointed out. "Besides, perhaps this is just a minor detail that will be rendered irrelevant by the end of this competition."

"That... Worries me, to be honest, but anyway, after the commercial break, we'll come back with the last team, who apparently are nameless since you didn't say their name, Carol."

"Well, I just forgot about it, their team name is actually Fashionable Communication."

"Huh, that actually sounds rather cool. Well, after the commercial break, we'll go with the last team, Fashionable Communication. Until then, stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"See ya!"


	6. Fashionable Communication

The lights turned back as the audience cheered and clapped. "And we're back with the final team of round one," Catherine said.

"Fashionable Communication!" Carol chirped, striking a pose while holding a phone.

Then, in unison, the duo said, "Good luck!"

The lights turned off and, again, a screen popped up, revealing Lori and Leni staring at the camera. Nothing unusual there.

"One is nice, the other not so much! Will their polar opposite personalities clash in a hilarious way that'll cause an uprising? Give a round of applause to Team 6: Fashionable Communication!"

The audience cheered as it cut to the shadowed stage, with Lori and Leni on the stage. Once the lights turned on, Lori put on a smile and greeted

And silent... And silent...

"Leni?"

"Huh?"

"We're on stage, you're supposed to greet the audience."

"Oh, right, sorry," suddenly, Leni put on a baseball outfit and shouted "Go Beavers!"

"Our team is called the roosters!" Lori clarified as the audience laughed out loud.

Then Leni put on a chicken costume and shouted "ba-caw!" with a cat smile. "That's a chicken! It's not the same thing!" Lori pointed out.

"It's not?"

"No!"

"Well, I'll do it right in a moment."

"Good."

"Just one question, though."

"Yeah?"

"Like, what's a rooster?"

Lori fell silent, possibly as a result of the nature of the question, and as the audience laughed, the young woman tried to come up with an adequate response, only to give up and say, "You know what? Forget it. Let's literally do our best today."

"Yeah, sounds like fun!"

"But you know, Leni?"

"Uh huh?"

"Something's been bugging me for quite a while lately."

"Are there bugs on your bed?"

The audience laughed. "That's not the context I'm trying to use."

"Do you need me to bath it in pesticide?"

"Then that would leave me without a bed to sleep in!"

"That's not true! You could always, like, sleep with me!"

"That sounds weird, I'm not gonna do that."

"Sleep with Lincoln then."

"That's even weirder!"

And as the audience laughed out loud and clapped, Lori took a deep breath and calmed down "Look, what I'm literally trying to say is, something has been bothering me lately, and that is... Well... You."

"I've bothering you?"

"Oh, you've been doing so in dozens of ways I can think of. But no, it's something related to you: More specifically, the fact that you haven't been able to pass your driver's test yet."

Leni promptly looked away and sternly said, "Well, I would've passed it already if it wasn't for a certain little someone."

"Oh come on, I already asked you to forgive me and-"

Suddenly, Leni snapped, "Lincoln!"

"Wait, what?!" Lori shouted as the audience laughed. "He was literally the first of our siblings to help you out! Why would you be angry with him?!"

"Yeah, he tried to help me, and I'm, like, grateful for that, but his methods were terrible! I mean, he tried to teach me driving using a video game!"

"Well, that's a common situation in television shows, and Lincoln watches a lot of that, so I guess he just thought it would work?"

"And then, he made up a language that made it sound like he was talking down to me, valley girl style!"

"Yeah, but that worked up until I brainwashed you through music."

"It still offended me though!"

"And it still worked," Lori sighed. "Really, if anything, It's me you should be angry at, while you own a lot to Lincoln for even trying to help you."

"Huh, you're true, I wish I knew how to pay my debt to him," Leni hummed. "I know! I'll set him up with one of my friends!"

"That's definitely gonna be seen as weird," Lori pointed out as the audience laughed some more. "I mean, it's a prepubescent boy dating an older girl! He doesn't even reach past her groin!"

"Why would he want to be taller than that?"

"That's besides the point, that's literally besides the point."

"You worry too much, look, I'll try my hardest to make it work!"

"It won't work."

"It will work."

"It won't work."

"It will work."

"It won't work."

"What part of "it will work" do you, like, not understand?!"

"The part that makes you so confident it will really work."

"Well, miss party pooper, if you're so confident it won't work, then how about we try it out? We do a skit, you'll be Lincoln, and I'll be my friend, and if we do hook up, then you have to swallow your pride and admit I was right for once!"

"...You know what? Let's do this! I'm not losing my pride for nothing!"

 _Leni's skit, Take 1..._

Lori, wearing a white wig and Lincoln's clothing, looked around as she walked towards her date's table.

"Okay, Lincoln, just... Calm down," Lori quietly told herself. "Leni put a lot of effort into making this date a reality, the least you could do is go through with it."

Lori nodded and then she found on her date's table... Leni, dressed like Mrs. Johnson. "Greetings, Mr. Loud," Leni said in a voice trying to mimic

"Wait!"

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed and Lori and Leni-still with the costumes-talk to each other. "What was that all about?!" Lori scolded.

"What's wrong?" Leni asked.

"Mrs. Johnson, really?!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"You can't have Lincoln date her, she's like literally triple his age!"

"That's not true! She's triple and a half!"

"That doesn't fix the issue!" Lori pinched the bridge of her nose as the audience laughed and applauded. "Look, try to find some other girl that can date Lincoln, one that's a bit younger."

"A bit younger?"

"Like closer to his age."

"Closer to his age?"

"Yes, got it?"

"Hmm...Yup!"

"Something tells me otherwise, but oh well, only one way to find out!"

 _Take 2..._

Everything went the same as before, only Lori encountered Leni dressed like Carol instead of Mrs. Johnson. "Hello, Lincoln-"

"Oh come on!"

Again, the stage turned back to normal as the audience clapped and Lori scolded Leni, while taking off her Lincoln costume. "Seriously?!"

"What's wrong this time? I got someone who was younger!"

"Yeah, but not only did you pick Carol Pingrey, who I loathe, but she's still too old for Lincoln!"

"Too old still?"

"She's old enough to be his sister!"

"Older than him?"

"Of course!"

"Older than me?"

"Yeah!"

"Older than you?"

"I honestly don't know, it could be a yes or a no, all I know is we're pretty close in age."

"Older than Mrs. Johnson?"

"Stop bringing up Mrs. Johnson!" Lori pinched the bridge of her nose again. "Look, how about we talk about something else?"

Leni took off her Carol costume. "Like?"

"Well, how about we go back to the driving test topic, without bringing up Lincoln on the mess?"

"Ugh, sure, if you want."

"Okay, so, being the only one of our siblings who can drive a car, I was thinking that, to make up for me sabotaging your ability to pass your driving test, I can teach you how to do so! What do you say?"

"Well, I say-"

Suddenly Leni, wearing a peacock costume, spread her butt-wings and did the peacock's call to a baffled Lori, who just said, "That's a peacock! Were you trying to look like a rooster?"

"Did I fail?"

"You still got it wrong! And you didn't even answer my question!"

Leni threw away her peacock costume. "I, like, would probably reject your offer in any other situation, but since it sounds like some good comedy could come out of it, I say we give it a shot!"

"Alright, let's hope I don't go nuts by the end of this..."

 _Lori's skit, take one..._

Lori, dressed as a driving instructor, sat on the passenger's seat while Leni sat on the driver's seat. "Okay, Mrs. Loud, are you ready to begin your driver's test?"

"I, like, think I'm ready for this!" Leni answered.

"Excellent. Now, insert the key on the fashion slot-"

Suddenly, Leni snapped and hit Lori with a newspaper. "How dare you talk me down!"

Lori yelped and the stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed. "What was that all about?!" Lori scolded.

"You know I hate it when people talk to me like I was stupid!" Leni answered, folding her arms.

"Well, I don't see you trying to fix that!"

This earned Lori another hit.

"Okay, I deserved that one, but still, do you really think you can get away with that in the actual test?!"

"Do you really expect the driver instructor to talk to me like that?"

"Oh right, a driving instructor wouldn't talk to you in Leni," Lori sheepishly smiled. "My bad, let's try again."

"With less offensiveness, please."

"Of course..."

 _Take two..._

Everything went the same as before, but without Lori accidentally insulting Leni in the process. So the fashionista managed to start up the car, and they drove for a moment.

"Good going, Mrs. Loud! Now take a turn to the left."

"Instructor, can I ask a question?"

"Fine, but make it quick."

"How do you turn to the left underwater?"

It was in that moment Lori realized they were underwater, and the stage turned back to normal as Lori, quite obviously, was baffled. "How did we end up underwater?! I didn't even hear the splash when we went in."

"Alas, that's because it was mysteriously muted."

"How so?"

"Lincoln!"

"Stop blaming Lincoln for everything!"

Then, wearing a parrot costume, Leni shouted "Bacaw!"

"That's not even a bird!" Lori growled. "Stop changing the subject!"

And then, changing to a happier mood, the duo said "thanks for watching everyone!" as the lights went off...

.

.

.

Once the lights turned back on, Lori and Leni were standing close to the reporters as the audience clapped and cheered. "Well, there was fashion, and communication, so I guess you could say your team name did fit," Catherine remarked. "So, how do you feel?"

"I'm not necessarily happy with what Leni and Carol are doing," Lori answered, giving the pair an angry glare.

"And if you add a little avocado to it, you can make a Leni-style smoothie!" Leni said.

"We should totally open a smoothie stand! I bet with your recipes and my management, we could make a lot of money!" Carol remarked.

"That sounds, like, a great idea!"

"W-We should get the judges' thoughts before they get too into that thing," Catherine remarked. "Judges! Your judging please!"

"JUDGING!"

Same thing as before, with a little pause before revealing the scores:

Polly: Leni

Tabby: Lori

Haiku: Leni

Giggles: Neither

Maggie: A rooster.

"One point for Lori, two points for Leni, one point for neither, and one point for... A rooster?" Catherine recapped.

"Before you ask, the rooster is to let the ditz know what an actual rooster looks like," Maggie explained. "I mean, I understand it was part of the joke, but it felt so genuine, I actually grew worried she would offend somebody."

"Oh right, since the Roosters are a popular team and all that."

"Now could somebody kill the rooster and turn it into fried chicken? I'm hungry."

"Y-You don't have to say such a thing! We'll go on a lunch break after the resurrection round!" then Catherine turned to Giggles, "Anyway, judge Giggles?"

"Yeah?" the clown girl asked.

"You voted for neither Lori or Leni, why's that?"

"Well, how do I put this? Their acts didn't really get to me: I mean, I didn't exactly hate either of them, nor did I particularly enjoyed them. So, I couldn't really vote for either."

"Well, you don't need to worry, because Lori's out, and Leni goes to the next round," Catherine said as Lori went to the losers corner and Leni wandered off on her own. "Now, we will wait until it has been decided by the benefactor of this competition, Mr. B, who will be given the chance to resurrect back into the competition!"

"Until then," Carol started.

"Stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!"

"See ya!"


	7. Revival Round

The lights turned back on as the audience cheered and applauded as, surprisingly enough, only Catherine appeared. "Thanks for your patience, everybody!" the reporter greeted. "The votes have been made, and the lucky contestant who will get a second chance at the comedy grand prix has been decided! However, before we-"

"Hi Catty!" a voice similar to Carol's shouted.

Then Catherine turned to see Carol sitting at Maggie's judge seat. "W-Wait, what's the meaning of this? Where did judge Maggie go?"

"She said she had some important stuff to deal with, so she had Carol replace her," Giggles answered.

"Well, okay, but of all people to replace her, why did she pick Carol?"

The judges shrugged. "Also," Polly blurted. "We talked about it before Maggie left, and in fact, she found two people who she thought would be better comedians than us."

"And, to be honest, while the statement hurt, we could see where she was coming from," Tabby added, playing with her hair as she playfully added, "Besides, I have a little interest in one of the people she picked winning."

"Ah well, let's see who they are then."

It cut to a pair of shadowy figures standing nearby.

"If the resurrected turns out to fit the "boke" role, then their partner will be a woman in her 30s, a passionate teacher with a heart of gold for her students, but low patience for troublemakers. Everybody give a round of applause for, Mrs. Johnson!"

The redheaded woman was revealed, and she giggled and waved hello as she got showered with applause, even from the other shadowy figure.

"However, if the resurrected turns out to be a "tsukkomi" instead, then they'll get a young teenager with a passion for music, interest in conspiracies, and a nickname she insist to be called. Everybody give a round of applause for, Sam!"

Same thing as Mrs. Johnson, with Sam pulling double peace signs as she was showered with applause from everybody, including Mrs. Johnson.

"And now, we'll see how everybody is doing at the loser's corner."

A screen popped up to reveal Cristina and the losers... Wearing coconut bras, grass skirts, and dancing to some Hawaiian music. "Wha-ha-hat the heck is going on?! Hey! Hey!"

Everybody stopped as Cristina said, "Huh?"

"What are you doing?"

"We were getting bored that you were taking so long to tell everybody which of the losers were picked to try again."

"Fair enough, let's get to the point then."

Someone handed Catherine the envelope containing the name of the winner, and she quickly read it out loud:

"The loser picked is... Lucy Loud!"

A light shined on Lucy as everybody applauded her. "Which, being a boke, means that Mrs. Johnson will be her partner for this routine!"

Another light shined on Mrs. Johnson, who just smiled as a slightly disappointed Sam clapped.

"And now, since we don't have any prep time left, we'll have the two begin immediately. Good luck!"

The lights turned off and soon after turned back on to show a perplexed Mrs. Johnson and deadpan Lucy-basically normal Lucy-on the stage. "Oh, uh, um, h-hello everybody, thanks for having us today," the redhead told the audience as it cheered and clapped. "W-Well, looks like we got a good audience today, don't you think so, Mrs. Loud?"

"Why do you sound so nervous?" Lucy inquired.

"W-Well, Lucy, we were just asked to perform without being given a time to prepare, wouldn't you be nervous as well?"

"Hmm... There's another reason, isn't it?"

"...Yes, I can't really lie for you that much longer. I... Honestly didn't expect to be picked for this thing. In fact, seeing how one of the judges had plans for the other option, Sam, I honestly thought I was a goner."

"Well, did you even come up with a backup plan or something?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?! I didn't plan for anything!"

"Neither did I!"

"Then what do we do now?!"

The duo hummed for a while, until Mrs. Johnson said, "I got it! How about a skit where you practice smiling?"

"I think Lisa stole my ability to smile."

"Your genius sister stole your ability to smile?"

"Yeah, see all the smiles she pulls? Those actually used to belong to me, until she stole them."

"Sounds like she did you a favor!"

And as the audience laughed, Lucy said, "She did, but still, it doesn't change the fact I can't smile anymore."

"Well, what do you find funny?"

"Dark stuff."

"Okay then, dark in what sense?"

"Dark."

"Dark in what sense?"

"Dark."

"Dark in what sense?"

The audience laughed some more as Lucy snapped, "Dark!"

"Dark in what sense?!"

"Dark!"

"Dark in what sense?!"

"Dark!"

"For the love of getting to the point, Lucy, what do you mean by dark stuff in general!"

"Corpses! Mockery! Humiliation! Black comedy in general, just not to the same extent as Luan!"

Mrs. Johnson fell silent for a moment... Then asked, "Was that so hard to say?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why didn't you say so in the first place?"

Lucy stuttered and glanced at everywhere before looking at the ground in defeat, followed by the audience laughing and clapping. "Okay, if that's what you like, how about we do this: We'll do a skit where we're two clowns, one happy and cheerful and one sad and melancholic-"

"So an ironic clown and an actual clown?"

"Pretty much, and we show our types of comedy."

"Sounds like it could work."

"It does, doesn't it? Let's give it a shot, shall we?"

"Got it."

 _Mrs. Johnson's skit, take 1..._

Mrs. Johnson, dressed like a happy clown, sat next to Lucy... Who also looked like a happy clown.

"So, hey-" then the redheaded woman noticed Lucy's costume. "Why are you dressed like that?!"

"I'm dressing as a happy clown, in contrast to your sad clown-"

"No, you got it wrong, you're supposed to be the sad one, and I'm the happy one."

"That doesn't sound very accurate-"

"Excuse me?"

"You seem a bit sadder than me on the inside-"

"Excuse me?!"

And as the audience laughed, Mrs. Johnson took a deep breath and calmed down, while Lucy just tilted her head, seemingly confused.

"Even if I really was that sad on the inside, what matters is whether I show it on the outside or not."

"I thought the phrase was "true beauty is on the inside."

"Well, yeah-"

"Of the flesh baby tunnel."

"Who told you that?!" Mrs. Johnson turned to the audience as it started to laugh even louder. "Who told her that?!"

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Yeah, a corruption of a common phrase! True beauty is on the inside!"

"Yeah, isn't that how the original phrase goes?"

"Yes, but it's talking about beauty, not inner turmoil. And if there's someone here who fits the outward sad clown look, It's you, not me."

"So should I change my look to a sad clown?"

"Pretty much."

"Got it."

 _Take two..._

This time, Mrs. Johnson was a happy clown, while Lucy was a sad clown. "Well, hello, Frowny!" the redheaded woman greeted.

"Hi Happy," Lucy answered. "How are you doing on this day?"

"I'm pretty good! How about you?"

"What do you think?"

"Dang, that sad?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there has to be something I can do about it... I know! How about I tell you a joke?"

"Sigh, fine..."

"Okay, so, a proton and a neutron sit together, and the proton notices the neutron is rather upset. So they say, "Hey, neutron, stop being so negative!" and then the neutron replies, "that's easy for you to say, you're always so positive!"

"Excuse me for a moment."

Lucy got up, and walked to a nearby place, shivering and seemingly trying to contain her laughter as the audience snickered. Eventually, once she reached a tree, the goth smacked it repeatedly as she laughed out loud.

And not deadpan laughter either, it sounded like laughter from a normal person, baffling Mrs. Johnson.

"That actually made you laugh?!"

And as the stage turned back to normal, Lucy clutched her stomach as she continued to laugh, while the redheaded woman pinched the bridge of her nose.

"There's no way that made you laugh," Lucy laughed some more. "There's literally no way that could've made you laugh that much, or make you laugh at all for that matter."

"It did, but not in the way you think!" the emo took a deep breath and explained, "You see, I'm laughing out loud, because you just used the exact same joke Lisa was going to use."

"Pardon me?!"

"Yeah, while I was talking with Clyde, he told me that one of the jokes he had planned to do with Lisa, which he later handed to Lisa after her victory, was the exact same joke you just told me!"

"Huh... Well, that's unfortunate."

"For Lisa, that is."

"Well, I guess we can end the skit there," Mrs. Johnson and Lucy took off their clown costumes and returned to their normal outfits. "So, did you manage to think up an skit while we were doing mine?"

"Hmm... I got it!"

"Yeah?"

"How about I act as the teacher, and you're a student on your first day of school?"

"That's a rather unexpected skit coming from you, Mrs. Loud, why did you pick that?"

"'Cause then I can see how easy it is."

The audience chuckled. "Nonononono, working as a teacher is not easy."

"It totally is! You just deal with some students, give a couple classes, get paid by the end of the school day, then go home, easy peasy!"

"That's a really crude way to look at it! And not a very accurate one either. No, if you work as a teacher, you have to be able to memorize and have an idea of what you're teaching, organize and be able to work with the schedules given to you, and it only grows even harder when you add several students into the mix!"

"You're just saying all of that to get me to pick a different skit."

"It's true!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Fair enough, I and a couple more people will be the students, and you'll be the teacher."

"Okay, let's do this."

 _Lucy's skit, take one..._

Mrs. Johnson, Sam, and a couple random people sat on desks, wearing adult versions of school uniforms.

"Hey, thanks for letting me be a part of the skit," Sam told the redheaded woman.

"No problem, but try to stay in-character, okay?" the woman answered. "Remember, we're students, and we're supposed to give Lucy a hard time."

"Oh, okay, got it," Sam then asked, "Speaking of which, where's the teacher anyway?"

Suddenly, Lucy barged into the classroom, wearing an uniform that was a tad revealing for a teacher, let alone someone of her age. "Good morning, class-"

"What are you wearing!?" the redhead and blonde shouted as the audience laughed out loud, though some others winced instead.

Once the stage turned back to normal, Lucy asked, "What's wrong with my outfit?"

"You'd be fired on the spot if you came to school wearing something like that!" Mrs. Johnson growled.

"What about me?" Sam raised her hand. "What would happen if I wore that?"

"You'd be reprimanded and forced to change outfits at best, and outright expelled at worst!"

"What if I wore that as a teacher, then?"

"Same deal! You'd be fired!"

"So, what you're trying to say is that I should wear something more modest?" Lucy pondered.

"Something much more modest!"

"Got it."

 _Take two..._

Same deal as before, but Lucy walked into the classroom wearing an outfit more fit for a librarian, but definitely more modest than her last costume.

"Good morning, class," Lucy greeted as she walked to the blackboard.

"Good morning, Mrs. Loud!" Mrs. Johnson and most students greeted.

Except Sam, who just yelled, "The education system is a concentrated effort by aliens to make their invasion much easier!"

"That would explain a lot, actually," Mrs. Johnson chuckled.

"Mrs. Sam, we can discuss your nonsense conspiracy theories later," Lucy started drawing something on the board... With a crayon. "For now, we have to begin our lesson of-"

Lucy drew a graveyard and the words "Death" and "Acceptance" on the board.

"How to accept that death is inevitable-"

"Wait!" the redhead yelled.

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed and Lucy asked, "What did I do wrong this time?"

"That's not a subject taught at school!" the redhead snapped. "Math, Chemistry, those are taught, but not acceptance of death!"

"Probably because life itself is already teaching us that-" Sam pondered.

"You stay out of this!"

Then Lucy said, "Well, even if that's not a lesson taught, I still learned something today."

Agnes and Sam asked in unison, "And that is?"

Shrugging and sticking out her tongue, Lucy sheepishly said, "Teaching is easy!"

An angry Mrs. Johnson snapped, "It's not easy!"

Followed by Sam ending by saying, "Thanks for watching, everyone!"

And the lights turned off as the audience cheered and applauded the duo... Well, trio...

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal Mrs. Johnson and Lucy standing next to Catherine. "Well, that was...Something," she said. "You got something to say, Mrs. Johnson?"

"I... Have no comment, honestly," Mrs. Johnson answered. "We, well just I, thought up the skits on the spot, and everything was pretty much improvised from there."

"Agreed," Lucy added.

"Well then, let's see what the judges think," Catherine said. "Judges, if you'd please."

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, with the scoring turning out to be:

Polly: Mrs. Johnson.

Tabby: Mrs. Johnson.

Haiku: Mrs. Johnson.

Giggles: Mrs. Johnson.

Carol: Cereal

"Whoa! Four points for Mrs. Johnson and one point for cereal?!" Catherine recapped. "Did that really just happen?!"

"I'm cereal about my decision!" Carol stated.

"No, not you Carol, I expected your judging to be weird and bizarre, you're replacing Maggie after all," the reporter said. "But for the other judges, why did you all vote for Mrs. Johnson?"

"Well, our opinion on Lucy's brand of humor remain," Giggles said. "She wouldn't be able to be funny for long, specially if she gets more and more morbid."

"Besides, Mrs. Johnson is a much more interesting participant in general," Polly added. "I wonder what else she'll have up her sleeve."

"Aw, sorry Lucy, looks like you're out again," Catherine told the goth.

"Sorry, Lucy," the redheaded woman said.

"It's okay, I don't mind." Lucy turned to the redhead. "But, Mrs. Johnson?"

"Yeah?"

"... Good luck, specially if you're paired up with Lynn."

The audience laughed as Lucy went with the losers and Mrs. Johnson with the winners. "Well, that concludes the first round, but we're not done yet!" Catherine said. "We'll have the groups for the second round revealed to us in a moment!"

Cristina appeared and walked to the reporter, holding a box. Once she was next to the reporter, Catherine took out the names for the groups

"The first group will be Terrestial Prodigy, composed of Lisa and Lana Loud!"

Lisa stood in place, looking flabbergasted, while Lana raised her arms and celebrated, all while the audience applauded them. Then Catherine took the name for the second group.

"The second group will be School O' Rock, formed by Luna Loud and Agnes Johnson!"

Luna comforted a terrified Mrs. Johnson as the audience applauded. "What?! That early?!"

"Relax, Mrs. J," Luna said. "I'm sure we'll be able to come up with some good skits by then."

Then came the name for the third group.

"The third group will be Tough Love, formed by Lincoln Loud and Ronnie Anne Santiago!"

Lincoln and Ronnie smiled as people applauded them. "Awesome!"

Lincoln just hummed in agreement.

And then the final group name.

"And the final group will be Athletic Fashion, formed by Lynn and Leni Loud!"

Leni hugged her younger sister as the same applause showered them.

"And that was the first round of the "Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!" Catherine chirped. "Stay tuned, 'cause we'll begin the second round after a commercial break. And once we return, there's a special announcement from Mr. B himself! So until then... See ya!"


	8. Terrestial Prodigy

The lights turned back on and the audience cheered as Catherine spoke:

"Greetings, everybody, and welcome back to The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix, round two! Before we begin, let's see what the judges think."

The camera turned to the judges, but they said nothing. "Judges?"

"Yeah?" Tabby asked.

"Oh, uh, we got nothing to say," Giggles answered.

"Really?! A-Are you serious you-"

"Get on with it already!" the kid judges exclaimed.

"Geez, no need to sass me! Well, I guess the only thing left to say is-"

"Actually, didn't you say last time that Mr. B, the maker or owner or whatever of this whole thing, had an announcement to make?

"O-Oh, right, he does need to say something! So, let's see what he has to say."

Suddenly, a screen slowly came down from the ceiling, then turned on to reveal Mr. B, who looked like an oddly teenage-aged guy shrouded in shadows. And then he spoke with a deep, probably manipulated voice:

"Greetings, second rate comedians from all over Royal Woods, I'm Mr. B, and I have decided to switch up the rules for a bit: No longer will an individual comedian be selected to go to the next round, instead, the whole team will earn a score from 0 to 100, and if that team were to reach third place, they're out. We do this to get this whole thing over with already, so that is all. Now go back to entertaining the rest of Royal Woods, for their, and specially my, amusement."

The screen turned off, and a silence followed until Catherine quipped:

"Well, Mr. B seems to like getting straight to the point. Anyway, that was all from Mr. B, now let's move on with Terrestial Prodigy! Good luck!"

The screen switched to show Lisa and Lana on the monitor at the stage. Lisa was smiling, while Lisa had an "are you serious?" look.

"A down-to-earth plumber and a scientist who's mind is on the clouds! Will they clash in a manner that will bring some amusement?! Welcome Round 2, team 1: Terrestial Prodigy!"

The lights turned off and shined some lights as Lana and a visibly annoyed Lisa stood on the stage. Then the lights turned on, and Lisa was pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Hi, everybody! Thanks for having us here!" Lana chirped. "Come on, Lisa, show some excitement to the, otherwise they might start thinking you're not taking this seriously!"

"Of all people, why did I have to be partnered with you?" the genius audibly complained. "First I need to deal with Clyde messing everything up, and now I have to deal with the possibility you'll mess up even more!"

"Well, you were the one messing up for the most part," Lana shrugged. "Although, now that

Lisa's answer was pretty blunt: "Don't be ridiculous!"

And then she appeared cosplaying as a ninja with red, spiral eyes. "I'm totally a Tsukuyomi!"

"Tsukkomi!" Lana clarified as Lisa turned back to normal and the audience laughed. "It's Tsukkomi, not Tsukuyomi!"

"Meh, you say mud, I say Water-Soil fusion."

"What? Don't have any scientific names to further showcase your pretentiousness?"

"Of course I do! I'm a full encyclopedia of scientific stuff, I just choose not to do so, for if I do, your brain's going to break."

"Hmm..."

"What?"

"You know, Lisa, I've been wondering something since last year."

"What is it?"

"I've been wondering how much of your intelligence is genuine," Lana put on a sly look. "And how much of it is just you making stuff up."

The audience said "oooh" for the first time as Lisa felt anger surging through her body. "You dare question my intellect?"

"Of course, I mean, most of the stuff you say-even the ones that are true-sound like something people would make up just to sound smart," Lana crossed her arms. "How do I know you're not making it up just to make yourself look like the prodigy you're supposed to be?"

"You dare?!"

"I dare!"

"You dare?!"

"I totally dare! And I'll continue to dare until you can prove me otherwise!"

"Fair enough, I accept the challenge!" Lisa growled, only to flinch as she realized something, "Oh dang it, now I'm sounding like Lynn!"

Lana, as well as the audience, chuckled a little at this statement before turning back to normal. "Okay, how about we do this: I'll act as a show host, and I ask you what is a scientific name referring to. If you lose, you have to admit you're not as smart as you say you are!"

Lisa folded her arms. "What if I win?"

Lana shrugged, "You get bragging rights."

"Ah yes, the greatest of prizes," the audience laughed as Lisa added, "Alright, let's do this!"

The lights turned off as Lana chuckled in excitement.

 _Lana's skit..._

The lights turned back on to reveal Lana, now wearing a pink suit and a pompadour, while an unimpressed Lisa sat next to her on the contestant's seat. "Good evening, Royal Woods, and welcome to.."

Lana raised her arm as she and the audience said in unison, "Guess the Scientific Name!"

"And today, our contestant is Lisa Loud!" and as the audience cheered, Lana leaned a microphone close to the scientist and said, "So, how

"We literally just started, and I already have no idea what's going on."

"Heh, I guess you're not as much of a genius as you think you are."

"I am!" the prodigy snapped as the audience chuckled. "W-What I meant to say was, you just started this up without giving me any rules on how this works!"

"Funny you say that, 'cause that's what I'll explain right now: I'll give you three scientific names, either belonging to an animal or a plant, and after you push your button, you must guess what animal or plant I'm talking about! Get all or most of them right, and you win, don't, and you lose. Any questions before we begin?"

"Only one: How likely is it that you're going to rig everything just to make me look like a fool?"

"...Here comes the first scientific name!"

"You didn't even answer me!"

"Bos Primigenius Indicus!"

"Hmm... Well, seeing as you're the one making the questions, I'm going to assume this first one is an animal," Lisa hummed some more, then pressed the button. "Um, that's the scientific name for... Um, a bog primate?"

The "wrong" sound was heard. "Sorry, Lisa, you got it wrong."

"What?! No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Well, what's it for?!"

"It's the scientific name for the Zebu!"

Lisa frowned in disbelief as the audience chuckled. "Did you just misspell Zebra to get on my nerves?"

"No, the Zebu's an actual animal."

"It is?!"

"Yeah, here," Lana handed her genius sister a pamphlet. "Here's some info about the animal. It's habitat, behavior, diet, and such.

Lisa gave a quick read to the pamphlet, and she promptly freaked out, "Holy singularity, it really does exist!"

"Wow, I taught something to a supposed prodigy," Lana scoffed. "I feel so proud of myself!"

"You didn't teach me anything!" Lisa threw the pamphlet away. "I just so happened to have a vague knowledge about the animal!"

"Isn't that the same as saying you didn't know about it?"

"Just get to the next scientific name already!"

"Okay then, let's go for a plant."

Lisa snickered. "This should be easy."

"Solanum-"

Lisa pressed the button. "Tomato!"

"Dulcamara!"

"Oh..." Lisa sighed as the audience laughed. "W-Well... Uh..."

"You seem a little stumped, so let me give you a hint: the name represents one of the next names listed:"

* * *

 _Bittersweet, bittersweet nightshade, bitter nightshade, blue bindweed, Amara Dulcis, climbing nightshade, fellenwort, felonwood, poisonberry, poisonflower, scarlet berry, snakeberry, trailing bittersweet, trailing nightshade, violet bloom, or woody nightshade._

* * *

"There's so many!" Lisa exclaimed as she looked at the list. "Uh... Um... It's the scientific name for... Uh, felonwood?"

The "wrong" sound played again. "Sorry, Lisa, but you got it wrong."

"Yeah, no kidding!"

"The correct answer was..." all the names turned green. "All of them!"

"All of them?!" Lisa growled as the audience laughed out loud and clapped. "You tricked me!"

"No I didn't: all the names listed are valid alternatives to the scientific name mentioned."

"But you told me to pick one!"

"Well, you can't think straight all the time, sis, sometimes you gotta think outside of the box," Lisa fell silent as Lana continued her lecture. "Of all people who would know about that tactic, I'd expect you to be one of them. I mean, why else would I give you so many alternate options, if not for you to deduce they were all part of the same alternative?"

"Okay, alright, I get it! Just give me the final scientific name!"

"Fine then, you lose either way: The final scientific name is... Equus africanus somaliensis."

"Hmm... "Somali" is included there, and I believe that's a place... And equus is supposed to be about equines..." Lisa pressed the button. "The somalian donkey."

The "wrong" sound played again. "Oh come on!" Lisa hissed. "What did I get wrong this time?!"

"The name," Lana bluntly stated.

"The name?!"

"Yeah, it's not somalian donkey, it's Somali wild-"

Suddenly, Lana struck Lisa's face with her butt as she shouted "Ass!"

The stage, as well as the duo, turned back to normal as Lana and the audience laughed in unison, while Lisa quickly recovered from the strike. "Well, you humiliated me in front of everybody," the prodigy muttered as she clenched her teeth. "Are you happy with yourself?"

"Yeah, I pretty much am," Lana shrugged. "But what do we do now? We still got time for one more skit."

"Well, you dared to question my intelligence," the genius folded her arms. "I believe it's only fair that I dare to question something about you."

"Alright, but what exactly?"

Lisa and Lana hummed in thought until the genius got an idea. "I know! Your obsession with mud!"

"Take that back!" Lana proclaimed, only to quickly add, with clear confusion, "Wait, why would you doubt that?"

"Well, I kinda worded it wrong: I'm not questioning how you're obsessed with mud, that's a proven fact. What I'm questioning is your capacity to resist going after mud,"

"Huh, that makes more sense... Take that back!"

"Prove it to me, and I'll take it back."

"How?"

"Hmm... I got it: We're going to be a pair of people doing community service-"

"That sounds manageable."

"In the middle of a large mud field, while it's raining."

"Would community service really allow that?"

"Hey, it's a skit, anything can happen in it."

"Well, okay, let's give it a shot."

 _Lisa's skit..._

Lisa and Lana were doing their community service next to the mud field, in the rain, with Lana giving the field a longing look. "So... Of all places we were put to do our service... It had to be here?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Lisa said as she paused for a moment. "You see-"

However, Lana jumped into the mud field just as Lisa started to explain, and the prodigy's nonchalant apathy implied it wasn't the first time. However, just as Lana rolled around the mud in delight, she felt something... Odd, underneath it. So she dug the ground, and found...

A skeleton!

And as the tomboy shrieked, Lisa laughed out loud-alongside the audience-as the stage turned back to normal. "Gotcha!" Lisa stated in the middle of her laughter.

"What do you mean gotcha?!" Lana growled.

"I put the dead body underneath the mud, 'cause I knew you wouldn't resist the urge to play in it!"

"Why would you do that, though?! It sounds more like something Lucy would do!"

"Precisely!"

"...Wait, what?"

"That's a joke Lucy was going to make!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah! While I was trying to relax from the fact I was paired up with you, I overheard Lynn talking with Clyde about one of the jokes she and Lucy were going to make, the one you just fell victim to. And seeing how Mrs. Johnson stole my joke-albeit accidentally-I figured it was just fair to steal one of their jokes too!"

"So, wait a minute, you took this joke from somewhere else?"

"That's what I just said."

After a couple seconds in silence, Lana scoffed, "If you had to use a joke from somebody else, you probably aren't as smart as I thought you were."

"This nonsense again?!" Lisa snapped.

Then, looking at the audience with a smile, Lana chirped, "Thanks for watching everybody!"

And the audience cheered and clapped as the lights turned off...

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal Lisa and Lana standing right next to Catherine, who looked at them with slightly worried amusement. "So, history repeats huh? Last round, Mrs. Johnson stole your joke, and now you steal a joke from your sister."

"It was the most logical choice!" Lisa stated.

"Well, we'll leave that for later, for now, let's see what the judges think!"

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, with the scores being:

Polly: 78

Tabby: 65

Haiku: 70

Giggles: 80

Carol: Pineapples

"Okay, that gives us a total of 293 points... And pineapples." Catherine eyed Carol. "Well, she's replacing Maggie, so a nonsense score is to be expected."

"Aw man, we didn't even break past 300 points!" Lisa complained.

"Hey, at least there's the chance we'll last for a while longer," Lana remarked.

And as Lana and Lisa left, Catherine spoke, "Well, that's Terrestial Prodigy! Join us after the commercial break to go with our next team, School O' Rock! And remember, stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix"! See ya!"


	9. School O' Rock

**Okay, so quick note: Because of the fact I'm returning to college this Monday, uploads for any of my stories will become more sporadic and random. Don't worry, I'll still update every once in a while, but only when I feel confident that I didn't rush through it unnecessarily.  
**

 **With that said, let's move on.**

* * *

The lights turned back on and the audience cheered and applauded as Catherine spoke:

"Alright, everybody, we're back from commercial break, and now we'll move on to the next team, School O' Rock! Good luck!"

The lights turned off, then turned back on to show Luna and a nervous Mrs. Johnson on the screen.

"A middle school teacher and a musician with a passion! Can they make a melody that will tickle your funny box?! Welcome Round 2, team 2: School 'O Rock!"

Then the same thing happened, only to eventually reveal the duo on stage. And as they were greeted with cheers and applause from the audience, the duo waved hello with excitement, though the redheaded woman certainly wasn't subtle in her discomfort.

"Hello everybody, thanks for having us here today," Luna told the audience with a smile. "Please don't pay attention to Mrs. Johnson's sweating and clearly forced smile, she's just nervous."

"V-Very nervous," Mrs. Johnson added, causing the audience to laugh.

"But don't worry, that won't stop us from causing you to go into a laughing fit!"

"Or at least we'll try to."

"We're gonna cause a laughing riot!"

"M-Maybe not to that extent, for everybody's sake?"

"So no laughing riot?"

"Preferably not."

"But we're going to try to get some laughing fits anyway, so let's do our best!"

"Yeah, our best..."

"But still, there's something I need to point out."

"And that is?"

"We're in the same problem as Lana and Lisa: We're both tsukkomis, so how do we deal with that?"

"Well, this is pretty easy to solve: Whichever one of us is the more mature should be the tsukkomi, while the other should act like the boke."

"I don't know, are you sure you'd be a good boke, Mrs. Johnson?"

"Why would I be the boke?!" the redheaded woman snapped as the audience laughed. "If anything, it would make more sense if you were the boke: After all, you're young, and most importantly, you're one of those people who like music!"

"Music fan."

"Whatever, you still like music, and can even play instruments! The only logical deal is that you'd be much more energetic compared to me."

"... Yeah, that makes way more sense," the musician hummed. "I know! I have an idea for a skit!"

"Please do tell."

"We'll play Guitar Saviors-"

"Guitar what-now?"

Luna tried to keep a smile as she asked, clearly confused, "T-That popular video game where you-"

"Oh, silly Mrs. Loud,do you really expect me to know about that stuff?"

"Good point, you definitely got a good point. So, what video games do you play, then?"

"I don't play video games."

Luna flinched. "What?"

"In fact, they weren't all that popular back when I was your age."

The rocker seemingly freaked out. "Whaaat?! Are you being serious, woman?!"

"Is there a problem?"

"Yeah! We're in an age where video games are bloody everywhere, and you haven't even gotten into them?!"

"Well, just because we're in such an age doesn't mean I'm going to be interested about them. And besides, all you need to do is tell me about these Guitar Saviors so we can do the skit."

"I think it would be better if you played it yourself."

"Fair enough, I guess. So, do we do that for a skit?"

"Yup! It should be fun!"

 _Luna's skit..._

Luna and Mrs. Johnson stood in the living room of the Loud house, with the game Guitar saviors turned on. They held two toy guitars, obviously custom made for the game itself.

"Thanks for inviting me to play this little game, Luna," Mrs. Johnson said, only to add with worry. "Why did you invite me?"

"Well, I originally wanted to invite Sam, but-" Luna said.

"Whoa, hold on there."

The stage turned back to normal as Luna folded her arms. "What's wrong?"

"You wanted to invite Sam?" the redheaded woman inquired. "We could bring her to the skit, you just needed to say so."

Luna blushed. "W-Wha?! No, I didn't want to invite her!"

Realizing the implications of what she said, the rocker quickly tried to correct herself. "I-I mean I did, but not right now, I just said so to start the skit-which you ruined!"

"Hey, you're the one who said that, which gave me an idea," Mrs. Johnson turned to the audience and shouted, "Samantha! Could you please come here?"

"Who the heck is Samantha?!" Luna asked.

Suddenly, Sam leaped from the audience and landed right on top of Mrs. Johnson, burying her under the ground. "Sup, everybody!" Sam exclaimed as the audience cheered and applauded, while Luna blushed and looked away. "So, what am I supposed to do?"

Without warning, Mrs. Johnson jumped out of the ground next to Sam-plumber outfit included-and explained, "Luna wanted you to come play guitar saviors with us."

"...Guitar what now?"

"Great, now I got to deal with two students," Luna pinched the bridge of her nose.

Mrs. Johnson folded her arms. "Consider yourself lucky, I have to deal with over a dozen five times a week," then she smiled, "Anyway, let's get back on track, alright?"

Luna shrugged, then snapped her fingers, causing the stage to turn back to the loud living room. Now Sam had joined with her custom guitar.

"Okay, are you two ready to begin?" Luna asked.

"Got it!" the redhead and blonde stated in unison.

"Alright, repeat after me..."

Luna did a simple three-tone play on her guitar. Mrs. Johnson managed to repeat the first and third, but the second was off-key. Sam repeated all three, but with a higher pitch.

"Okay, I think that's good, how about this?"

Luna played five notes this time. Mrs. Johnson did the first three, but got the last two wrong, and Sam played her guitar wildly as she played all notes off-key.

"...Okay, let's try something a bit harder..."

Luna started playing an incredibly fast tune on her guitar, with the redhead and blonde left stumped as to how to repeat it. After she had done it for a couple seconds, the duo exchanged looks, nodded, then struck Luna with their guitars to get her to stop.

This caused the audience to laugh as the stage turned back to normal, followed by Luna yelped and grabbed her head in pain. "Why did you do that?!" she complained.

"What did you expect us to do?!" Mrs. Johnson replied. "You were playing a tune that was way too hard for a novice like me!"

"And you were going so fast, I was fearing you would end up traveling through time!" Sam added, folding her arms.

"Well, anyway, Mrs. J, we did my skit, it's time we do yours."

"Good, only one problem, though."

"What is it?"

"I don't have a skit ready. Or even an idea on what to do."

Luna looked at the ground in disbelief, only for Mrs. Johnson to blurt, "Oh, wait, I got one now!"

"Then you should've waited until you got it before telling me anything!" Luna snapped as the audience laughed, and Sam giggled. "Well, what do you have planned?"

Then the redhead glanced at Sam, then back at Luna, and giggled before saying "You'll see."

 _Mrs. Johnson's skit..._

The lights remained off for a moment, only to turn on in order to reveal Luna and Sam, now dressed in black clothing, sitting on opposites sides of a table, with what looked like a gun standing on the middle. Naturally, Luna was confused. "W-Wait, what's going on?"

"Don't ask me, I'm just as lost as you," Sam shrugged.

"Mrs. Johnson, what's going on?"

"I like kid-friendly versions of the Russian roulette, so I thought it would be fun to do a skit based on one of those," the redhead answered. "I don't like the roulette itself, it's actually kinda scary, but... Well, you get the idea. Spin the toy gun, aim it on your head, then pull the trigger!"

While Luna was hesitant to go along with it, Sam wasted no time spinning the gun, only for it to fly off into space. "Oh, it flew off," she nonchalantly remarked.

"Oh my, looks like I gave you a guncopter by mistake!" Mrs. Johnson nervously said.

"What even is a guncopter?!" Luna snapped as the audience laughed.

Mrs. Johnson put down another toy gun and left before Sam spun it once more. It ended aiming at Luna, and the rocker hesitantly took the gun and aimed it at her head. She glanced at the blank-faced Sam before pulling the trigger...And wound up having a loud noise blasted right into her face.

The audience laughed as Sam, laughing as well, grabbed the gun, loaded it, then aimed it at her head. The instant she pulled the trigger, though, she was sprayed with water all over her face, all while Luna continued to shiver from the loud noises, even after Sam tried to hand her the toy gun back.

Once Luna managed to recover from the loud attack and could hear things like normal once more, she gave one look at the toy gun before slapping it away, prompting the stage to turn back to normal. "Hey, what gives?!" Sam complained.

"I'm not feeling comfortable with this skit!" Luna complained before turning to Mrs. Johnson. "I mean, kid-friendly or not, Russian roulette as a concept sends shivers down my spine!"

"Sorry, Luna, I didn't take that into account," the redheaded woman said. "And it's the only idea I got, I doubt I'll be able to come up with something else in this short notice."

"Great, now I have to pull the same thing Luan did," the musician sighed. "At least I know how to end this one."

"How?" Sam asked.

Luna took a deep breath, then grabbed a hand and shouted, "Sam, please marry me!"

"Aw, Luna, that's really sweet..."

Then it turned out she was holding Mrs. Johnson's hand. "But I'm not Sam."

"Whaaaaa?!" Luna screamed.

Suddenly, Sam appeared out of nowhere and flashed dual peace signs as she chirped "Thanks for watching, everybody!" as the audience cheered and applauded, followed by the lights turning off.

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal a distraught Luna and a worried Mrs. Johnson standing next to Catherine, with Sam nowhere to be found as the audience cheered and applauded. "Well, that was... I don't even know what to say," the reporter said before looking at the musician. "Contestant Luna, are you okay?"

"I can't believe I ended up marrying my brother's teacher!" Luna whined. "I mean, you're hot and everything, Mrs. J, but-"

"It's okay, Luna, I understand," Mrs. Johnson hugged and brushed the musician's hair. "It was all a joke, but if it comforts you, then I don't mind if you and Sam start dating."

Luna suddenly turned back to normal as she asked, "Speaking of Sam, where did she go?"

"She said she had something to do, then bolted off," the redheaded woman answered. "Should we look for her?"

"You definitely should do so later, since now we have to see the judges' scores!" Catherine interrupted. "Now judges, if you'd please!"

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, with the scores being:

Polly: 91

Tabby: 99

Haiku: 60

Giggles: 85

Carol: Marriage proposal

"Okay, that gives us a total of 335 points... And a marriage proposal." Catherine eyed Carol. "Okay, last time I gave you a pass since you're replacing a weirdo, but I must ask this time: What's the meaning of this?"

"Of what?" Carol inquired.

"Of you using marriage proposal as your score!"

"I want Luna to go with polyamory with Mrs. Johnson and Sam!"

"That won't change anything, you know?"

"...I still want them to do it!"

"Whatever, now, Judge Tabby?"

"Yeah?" the judge asked.

"Did you give them 99 points for the reason I think you did?"

"Yeah, a consolation prize for Luna after marrying Johnson by accident. I mean, poor Luna, she tried to ask to marry her girlfriend, and she married her partner instead. That must've hurt."

"Well, I'm not going to be so merciful," Haiku stated. "I mean, the skit with the Russian roulette was clearly stated to be harmless, and yet she decided to end it out of fear. I cannot accept such weak will to fulfill a joke."

"Okay, we get it, Judge Haiku," the reporter patted Luna's back. "And hey, at least you're on first place, so there's that."

And as the married duo-not really-left, Catherine spoke, "Well, that's School O' Rock! Join us after the commercial break to go with our next team, the returning Tough Love! And remember, stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix"! See ya!"


	10. Tough Love II

The lights turned on as the audience cheered and applauded, with a happy Catherine there to give the news.

"And now, we revisit the only team from round one to stay completely intact, Tough Love!"

The lights turned to focus on Lincoln and Ronnie Anne, already on the stage.

"Alright, thanks for having us here again, everybody!" Lincoln greeted with a smile. "The second round, can you believe we're both together in it, Ronnie Anne?"

"Nah, to be honest, I thought we were both going to get eliminated," the tomboy answered. "Good thing that wasn't the case!"

"Yeah, but don't get too cocky yet: Remember, if we fail to rank above Lisa and Lana or Luna and Mrs. Johnson, then we're basically out of the competition."

"I know that, but I'm not very worried about it."

"You should be."

"But I'm not, I mean, with you by my side, we got nothing to worry about!"

"Aw, thanks Ronnie Anne!"

"Yeah, your upcoming pain and misery should entertain the masses quite easily!"

"Hey!" Lincoln whined as the audience laughed. "Come on, Ronnie, we barely just started! Don't treat me like that!"

"Well, anyway, thanks for having us here, everybody!"

"Yeah, what she said."

"So, Lincoln?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been wondering about your ability to talk with the audience, as in, not the one right here, but the one in the show."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Well, ever since you taught it to me when I moved in with the Casagrandes, people have been giving me a ton of weird looks: Bobby, Carlota, mom, it seriously bothers me sometimes."

"Well, that's what happens when you try to do something that's supposed to be hereditary."

"Hereditary?"

"Yeah, the guys in the Loud family apparently have the ability to talk to the audience, and are born with that innate knowledge. Basically, It's a hereditary ability."

"No way! That's awesome! But if that's what the guys get, what do the females get?"

Lincoln, with a smile confessed, "Enhanced fertility."

And as the audience laughed, Ronnie remained silent for a moment, only to say, "That... That explains a lot... And it also really makes me worried for your family."

"Don't worry, only one in every ten female members get the enhanced fertility!"

"That doesn't ease my worries at all!" the audience laughed out loud. "But anyway, back on track, about that hereditary audience talk ability-"

"Yeah?"

"How was it like to use it for the first time? Did you get any weird looks or something?"

"Oh yeah, and I still get weird looks from time to time, specially from my sisters."

"Then how about we do a skit about that? You'll be you, and I'll be your sisters-"

Lincoln snickered. "Yeah, right."

"...What's so funny?" Ronnie asked with a stern look.

"Sorry, Ronnie, but I can't picture you imitating my sisters with any degree of accuracy."

"Are you seriously doubting my mimicry skills, Lame-O?"

"I have at least ten sisters, Ronnie. There's no way you can imitate all of them correctly!"

"I totally can."

"Can you?"

"I can!"

"Can you?"

"I said I can!"

"Then prove it to me: The skit we'll do will involve you trying to imitate the sister I say. Do any of them incorrectly, and it's game over."

"Fine, then let's get on with it! I'll prove my supreme acting skills to you!"

 _Lincoln's skit..._

Lincoln stood next to Ronnie, and held a clipboard as the tomboy stretched a little, getting ready to do her imitations. "Okay, Ronnie, we're gonna go from the oldest to the youngest, got it? Starting with... Lori!"

Ronnie spun around until her clothing changed to that of Lori's, and she held a phone close to her. Her hair was also now blonde, for some reason. "And I literally could not believe what she said! Can you believe it, Bobby Boo Boo Barbecue Bishonen Barbatos Bingo Bongo Bear?"

"That's classic Lori for you. Now, do Leni!"

Ronnie spun again, and this time she looked like Leni, glasses included. "I'm, like, so fabulous with these glasses, I'm sure I'll need to wear them to not blind myself," then she put them on and screamed, "I'm blind!"

"A bit more sassy than usual, but still accurate. Now, Luna!"

Another spin, another change, this time including a hair dye from blonde to brown. "Yeah, dude, let's rock and roll this place to the ground!"

"Oh man, the memories. Okay, switch to Luan before I remember something unpleasant."

Another spin done, and now Ronnie had braces. "Why do rabbits, kangaroos, and several other animals like to jump so often? 'Cause they can reach conclusions much easier that way! Hahaha, get it?"

"Wow, you even got the bad humor right. Okay, Lynn?"

With another spin came another change, and the braces were gone. "I love balls!"

"Yeah, I... I think that's something she would say. Now do Lucy."

Yet another spin, and Ronnie's hair was not only back to normal, but it was covering her eyes, hiding her dizziness. "The world is a legitimately dark and cruel place, and that's not because my hair is covering my eyes 24/7."

"Now that you mention it, I wonder why Lucy keeps her eyes covered so often. Anyway, do Lana next."

Ronnie spun again, and rather than say anything, she just run around in circles while barking like a dog.

"That's how she acts on a bad day, but it's still accurate. Now how about Lola?"

One spinning clothes change later, Ronnie dabbed and shouted "Diva dab!" as the audience chuckled.

"What is that diva dab?! Lola has never done such thing!"

"Ing!"

"Adding "ing" at the end of it doesn't solve the issue! Anyway, let's move on, Lisa."

Ronnie spun again, and alongside changing clothes, she now had a blackboard next to her, and she was talking about some scientific jargon. It almost looked like she had no idea what she was talking about.

"Yep, that's classic Lisa alright. Finally, Lily."

Ronnie spun again, but this time, she was back to normal, and throwing a glare at Lincoln's direction as the audience laughed. "Seriously, Lame-O?"

"Well, it's not fair that you mess with me up every now and then, I deserve to mess with you every once in a while."

"Yeah, that I understand, and don't mind for the most part, but why do you want me to imitate your baby sister?!"

"Hey, you were the one who boasted about being able to imitate all of my sisters with perfect accuracy."

"I know, but... She's a baby! She doesn't have any character to imitate!"

"Aha! So you can't imitate _all_ of my sisters with perfect accuracy!"

Ronnie flinched as the audience gasped, then promptly giggled as she lowered her head and said, "Alright, you got me, I'm utterly lost with Lily."

The stage turned back to normal as Lincoln jumped in victory, raising one fist at the sky. "I knew it! Not even the greatest of mimes can imitate Lily!"

"She's a baby!" Ronnie snapped. "She doesn't have a personality to imitate!"

"Although, come to think of it," Lincoln remarked.

Ronnie calmed down. "Yeah?"

"How did we go all this time without noticing that the usual announcer guy didn't introduce our team?"

"What'cha mean?"

"You know, the guy who did those little statement after the reporters said their stuff but before the teams did? You know, those funny little quirky remarks?"

"Oh right! I liked that guy!"

"Yeah, so did I, but I noticed just now that we just cut from Catherine to us without the guy speaking or anything."

"Oh, so that's why the atmosphere didn't feel right?"

"I suppose so."

"Poor guy... We should break the tension-"

"You being a nice girl!"

"Cruel!" Ronnie spat as the audience laughed. "You're cruel."

"So are you when you're on a bad day." Lincoln giggled. "Anyhow, do you have any skit ideas?"

"In fact, I do! Remember our wrestling discussion in our previous act?"

"Oh right, the heavyweight jobber thing."

"Stop picturing me as a jobber! Anyway, I was thinking we could see if you got good skills as an announcer."

"What type of announcer?"

"Just an announcer in general. I mean, I don't wanna force you to improvise and possibly insult somebody. And besides, you judged my ability to imitate your sisters, it's just fair I judge something about you."

"Then why don't you just judge me in general?"

"'Cause then we'd be here all day."

"True."

The audience laughed.

"So, what's the story?"

"Well, I'm going to make a big, epic entrance, and you're going to act as the announcer of whatever we're doing! If you manage to give me an appropriate entrance, you pass!"

"Alright then, let's do this!"

 _Ronnie's Skit..._

Lincoln, now dressed like a rider of sorts, stood next to Ronnie Anne, also dressed as a rider and on top of a pony. "Greetings everybody, this is Lincoln Loud in the annual pony racing contest! And right next to me, we got the dark horse of the competition, Nie Nie!"

"Hi everybody, I'm-no, wait, hold it!"

The stage turned back to normal as the audience laughed and clapped. "What was wrong with my announcing?" Lincoln asked.

"What wasn't wrong about it?!" Ronnie answered. "First of all, you used Bobby's nickname for me instead of my real name, which I don't think you're allowed to do in the first place. Second of all, a pony race? Really? I don't even like ponies!"

"Geez, when did you turn into a Jewish mother?"

"What did you call me?"

"What, with all the complaining and stuff-"

"What did you call me?!"

"Look, I don't know how we're supposed to do this if you won't hear me in normal volume."

"Just, try this again, alright? Think of something that would be more fitting for me."

"Hmm... I think I got it this time!"

"I sure hope so."

The lights turned off, and then turned on again to show Lincoln-again dressed as an announcer-standing next to Ronnie Anne in the middle of an arcade. "Greetings, everybody, this is Lincoln Loud, and next to me is the Dance Battle world champion, Ronnie Anne!"

"Hi everybody, I'm Ronnie Anne and-wait, this still isn't right."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow as the audience laughed and the stage turned back to normal. "Well, you got the location right, but call me crazy-"

"You're crazy."

Ronnie narrowed her eyes as the audience laughed and she continued, "But "Dance Battle World Champion" doesn't sound like something that would need an announcer or anything. Look, I'm gonna be straight up blunt with you: How about you act as an announcer in a wrestling match between me and... Somebody else?"

"That sounds like something I can do!"

"Let's hope that's the case then."

The lights turned off, then back on to reveal the stage had turned into a wrestling ring, with Lincoln in the middle acting as a referee.

"On this corner, we have the main character of the match! The face of the game!" Lincoln exclaimed. "And also a pretty cute girl to boot!"

The lights slowly lit up on Ronnie Anne as she waited for Lincoln to call out her name, her excitement growing as he said:

"The great! The amazing! The lovable!"

Then the light focused on a random rock.

"Rock!"

And then he turned to look at the annoyed Ronnie. "Oh, and there's Ronnie Anne too."

Ronnie slapped Lincoln as the stage turned to normal, followed by her hissing, "What was that all about?!"

"Well, it's always important

"But why would I be fighting a rock? It doesn't make sense!"

"Does it really need to make sense in order to give us an exciting fight?"

"It wouldn't be exciting: All I'd be doing is beat up a random rock for a couple minutes at best! You know what? Let's just stop right now, you're a lost cause."

"Only in getting all things right, though, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but there's one more thing I want to say."

"Sure, go ahead."

A couple seconds later, Ronnie dabbed and shouted "Diva dab!"

"Quit it with the dabbing!" Lincoln snapped.

Then the duo said, with happy tones, "Thanks for watching, everybody!"

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to reveal Ronnie and Lincoln standing next to Catherine, both with hopeful smiles. "Huh, you two certainly upped the ante a bit with your routine, didn't you?"

"Nah, we just did random stuff we thought would be funny," Ronnie honestly answered. "But hey, all that randomness most likely paid off!"

"I really hope it did." Lincoln added.

"Well, before we move on to the judging, as Lincoln pointed out, only two teams will go to the finals: If you two fail to score higher than Terrestial Prodigy or School O' Rock, then you're out of the competition. Tell me, do you feel worried about this fact?"

Ronnie shook her head, "Nope! I'm confident we're going to go to the finals!"

Lincoln sighed. "And cue us being eliminated right afterwards."

"Don't jinx it, Lame-O!"

"You already did, Jack-Ass!"

"Judges, please!"

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, with the next scores:

Polly: 76

Tabby: 70

Haiku: 85

Giggles: 70

Carol: Puppies

"That makes a total of 301 points and puppies!"

And the list was now like this: School O' Rock, Tough Love, Terrestial Prodigy.

"Tough Love are now in second place, and with them reaching the third place, Terrestial Prodigy are out of the competition!"

At the loser's corner, Lisa and Lana sighed. "Aw, I really wanted to go to the final round!" Lana whined.

"To be fair, I scientifically proved we were bound to lose," Lisa shrugged.

Back with Catherine, the reporter spoke as Lincoln and Ronnie went to reunite with their fellow comedians, "And now, folks, only one more team and then we'll be able to behold, the two versus two grand finale of the Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix! Stay tuned for more, see ya!"


	11. Athletic Fashion

You all know how it goes by now, so let's move on.

"And now, for the final team of the penultimate round! Everybody give a round of applause to, Athletic Fashion!"

The lights turned off, then switched to the stage, where Lynn and Leni waited for their signal. Once the lights turned on, Lynn waved hello... While Leni looked at her.

"Hello, everybody! Thanks for having us here!"

Leni, however, just looked at Lynn with a confused look, which soon got on the athlete's nerves. "Leni, this is the part where you wave at everybody and thank them for letting us try in the first place!"

"Lori, why do you look so much like Lynn now?" Leni inquired.

"What?!" the audience laughed out loud. "You honestly think you're still doing comedy with Lori?"

"Are you practicing your roleplaying skills?"

"No, that's not the case! Look, Lori was taken out of the competition 'cause the judges thought you were funnier than her. You're now doing comedy with me, your sister, Lynn!"

"Hmm... I don't recall having a sister named Lynn."

"I'm the one that's all about sports and stuff!"

"Oh right, I remember now! However, her name's not Lynn."

"Wha? Fair enough, tell me, what do you think is her name?"

"Linn."

"That's my name! Lynn!"

"No it's not, It's pronounced with an "I" instead of an "Y"

"It's pronounced the other way around!"

"Nnyl?"

"That's how it's pronounced backwards!"

"Then how am I supposed to pronounce it?"

"Lynn!"

"With an "I" or an "Y?"

"Y!"

"I?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright then, Linn!"

"You're still pronouncing it wrong!" the audience cheered and applauded as Lynn folded her arms. "You know what? Nevermind, let's just move on before we start wasting too much time."

"Got it, Linn!"

"Ugh, anyway, I've heard that your driving tests have been going much well lately."

"Yeah! I'm actually making quite a lot of progress!"

"Good to know!"

"I only ran over two nuns this week!"

"That's not much of an improvement!" Lynn exclaimed as the audience laughed. "What were the nuns even doing there, anyway?"

"I have no idea, but it probably has to do with the place I crashed the car at..."

Suddenly, Lynn got an idea. "Leni, how did this place look like?"

"Well, it was, like, this school-like place, with some Indian people, that had some sort of weird large line of odd symbols-"

"Wait, are you telling me you meant nun as in the letter from the abjad?"

"Is that some sort of fashion?"

"No, it's a writing system."

"Why would you call "abjad" a system that writes for you?"

"You're taking it too literally-Wait, if this is what I think it is, are you telling me you crashed through an alphabet?!"

"No, you're, like, telling me that I'm telling you that I did just that!"

"That doesn't change the fact you did something absolutely impossible!"

"You mean, like, how Lori is trying to stop Clyde from crushing on her?"

"No, that's definitely possible, it's just that Lori's so desperate from attention that she doesn't want to do the easy thing and find another guy to crush on her."

"What about Bobby?"

"He and Ronnie Anne moved out a long time ago."

"Really? Then why is Ronnie Anne here?"

"They came back for a vacation-And we're getting really dang sidetracked here! Let's get back on topic! So, your driving skills are improving, but not as quickly as they should, right?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

The audience laughed out loud, and even clapped, as Lynn rubbed her forehead. "Yes, they're indeed improving, but you're still quite bad at driving."

"It's not, and while I don't mind Lori driving us everywhere, but not only does she always have a catch, but I kinda feel sorry for her. She has to get tired of being asked to drive us everywhere, right?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Leni, if you had any of us ask you to drive us anywhere, wouldn't you get tired of that eventually?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Are you seriously going to answer that no matter what I ask you?!"

"I dunno, you tell me."

Lynn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose while the audience both laughed and clapped.

"So, what were we talking about?" Leni tilted her head to the left.

"Your driving test!" Lynn snapped her fingers. "We were talking about your driving test!"

"Aw right, do you think I should ask our sisters to teach me how to do that?" Leni clasped her hands. "After all, they seem to be pretty good at driving everybody nuts, so-"

"I think you're a bit confused on what sort of driving you're supposed to be doing. But hey, we could always use a little simulation. You'll be the driver student, and I'll be teacher."

"Oh, can I also be the queen of mars?"

"Where did that come from?!"

"Okay, how about the queen of England?"

"Why do you want to be queen?!"

"'Cause then I could get my chaffeur to do my driving test for me."

"That's not how it works! Look, let's just do the skit already, okay?"

"Okay!"

 _Lynn's skit..._

Lynn, dressed like a driving instructor, sat on the passenger's seat as she waited for Leni, dressed as a driving student, sat right next to her.

"Okay, Leni, are you ready to start your driving test?" Lynn asked as she took out a clipboard and a pen.

Leni chirped, "Of course!"

"Good, I'm glad to see you're excited for this. Now, put the key in the slot and turn-"

"Can I ask something?"

"I-It's a test, you're given questions, and you're supposed to answer, not the other way around."

"I know, but this is quick: How am I supposed to reach the key slot from the passenger seats?"

"W-Wait, are you telling me we're both on the passenger seat?"

"Yup."

"Wait, if I'm on the passenger seat, and so are you, then who's on the driver's seat?!"

"My personal chaffeur!"

"What?!"

Then the scene zoomed out to reveal a chaffeur sitting on the driver's seat.

"Oh, Chaffeur, we're ready to start the test!" Leni exclaimed.

And the stage immediately turned back to normal as Lynn growled, "No we're not!"

"What's wrong?"

"You can't have your chaffeur do the exam for you, that's cheating!"

"It is?"

"Yeah! You have to do it yourself!"

"Myself?"

"Yeah! Now let's do it again!"

So the skit restarted, and went the same as before, only with Leni on the driver's seat, with Lynn next to her. Just before Lynn could say anything, however, Leni interrupted:

"Hey, do you mind if I take someone to somewhere else?"

"What are you talking about?" Lynn asked.

Then it zoomed out to reveal a chaffeur on the passenger seat. "I must bring the chaffeur to his work."

"What the heck?!"

One stage turning back to normal and audience laughter later, Lynn flailed her arms up and down as she scolded Leni, "You can't sabotage your driving test by taking the chaffeur to his job or whatever! Would you please do this right?!"

"Is that necessary?"

"Leni, how do you expect to pass your driving test, if you can't even get past the setup."

"Good point, one more shot?"

"Yeah, one more shot, then we call it a day."

The skit repeated a third time, and Leni and Lynn were once again on the same seats. However, instead of blowing up in anger, Lynn took a deep breath and asked:

"Leni?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we in the passengers' seat?"

"Yep."

"Is the chaffeur driving us again?"

"Nope."

"Phew, thank goodness."

Another zoom out happened, and it revealed, as Leni promptly chirped:

"We're being driven by the queen of England!"

The audience burst out laughing, and the stage once again turned back to normal as Lynn chuckled to herself and slowly clapped. Which Leni soon joined in, but with a much faster speed than the jock.

"Leni, I think it would be better if we focused on something else," the athlete sighed. "I don't want to sound negative or anything, but I don't think learning how to drive should be your first priority."

Leni tilted her head. "Then what do you suggest we do?"

"I dunno, you tell me."

"Huh, that sounds oddly familiar."

Lynn threw a look at the audience, "Of course it does."

"I know! Let's do my skit now!"

"You have a skit planned?"

"Yeah! I mean, it was obvious when I realized we were paired up: I'll be the teacher of martial arts, teaching you self defense."

"This can only go well."

"I know, right?! So let's do it!"

 _Leni's skit..._

Leni, dressed as a martial arts teacher, threw punches and kicks at the air, when Lynn, dressed as a martial arts student, entered the "dojo".

"Master Leni, I'm ready for today's lesson!"

Leni, however, just continued punching the air.

"Master Leni?"

Same result.

"Master Leni!"

Suddenly, a Leni lookalike-probably Carol-with a moustache appeared and said, "Yes, were you calling for me?"

"What the heck?!" Lynn glanced at the punching and moustached Leni in utter confusion, while the audience laughed. "What's the meaning of this?! Who's the real Leni?!"

"It's me," the moustached Leni answered before taking off her moustache. "The other Leni's just a clone."

The punching Leni exploded out of existence, allowing Lynn to calm down enough before asking, "So, what are we going to learn today, master Leni?"

"Ah yes, I'm going to teach you a super duper secret technique that only the most prideful of people can learn," Leni said as she walked until she was right next to Lynn. "For this technique, you need a clear mind, devoid of all intrusive thoughts."

"No wonder you could learn it, then."

"First, you form a pair of fists with your hands."

"Okay then."

"And then you get into a battle stance!"

"I like where this is going!"

"And then!"

"Yeah?"

" _And then!_ "

"Yeah?!"

" ** _And then!_** "

"Tell me already, the suspense is killing me!"

After a couple seconds, Leni scratched her head and asked, "And then what?"

"How should I know?!" Lynn snapped as the audience burst up laughing. "You're supposed to be the teacher!"

And the stage turned back to normal the instant Leni answered:

"Good work, Lynn!"

"What do you mean good work? We didn't do anything!"

"We finished the skit."

"Wait, really? That was it?"

"Pretty much, and since we're practically out of time, I guess we should stop now."

"Yeah, I guess we should stop now, shouldn't we?"

Leni smirked and said, "I dunno, you tell me."

Prompting Lynn to snap, "Damn it, I fell for such an easy trick!"

And then the duo turned to the audience and chirped "Thanks for watching everyone!" as the audience applauded and the lights turned off.

.

.

.

The lights turned back on to show Lynn and Leni standing next to Catherine, the reporter, while the audience cheered and applauded.

"I'm not gonna lie, that was actually pretty funny," Catherine said. "You two must be happy with your performance."

"Well, I can't take all the credit," Lynn stated before turning to Leni. "My sister Leni over here did most of the work, she was just a riot."

"That's a good thing, right?" Leni asked.

"In this case, it is," Catherine said before turning to the judges. "Now, judges, if you'd please!"

"JUDGING!"

Same deal as before, with the judges going as such:

Tabby: 90

Polly: 90

Haiku: 80

Giggles: 100

Carol: Cookie jar

"A total of 360 points and a cookie jar for Olympic Fashion! Sending them straight to the first place, and unfortunately, sending Tough Love to the third place, and their ensuing elimination."

"Aw, man, we're out already?" Ronnie mildly complained. "I honestly thought we'd reach the end!"

"Hey, we tried, and that's what matters," Lincoln reassured, giving Ronnie a pat in the back.

"That's the end of the penultimate round, everybody!" Catherine cheerfully stated. "Now, for the final round, we'll have both teams perform their acts consecutively. That means that the team in first place, Olympic Fashion, will do their act first, and then the second team, School O' Rock, will do their act afterwards. Until then, stay tuned for "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!" See ya!"


	12. Plot Twist!

The lights turned on to reveal Catherine at the losers corner.

"Greetings, everybody, I'm Catherine Butterfly, and I'm here on the losers corner, to see the losers' thoughts before the final match between Athletic Fashion and School O' Rock," Catherine approached Luan, who scanned her surroundings. "Here we have Luan Loud, a well-known comedian in Royal Woods who didn't get fast in this competition. How do you feel, Luan Loud?"

Luan, however, didn't respond.

"Hello? Luan Loud?"

"Can you feel it?" Luan inquired.

Catherine raised an eyebrow. "Feel what?"

"Something doesn't feel right about this comedy grand prix," Luan answered.

The reporter, however, just ignored the statement. "As you can see, some take the loss worse than others-"

"Does nobody other than me feel it?!" Luan snapped, before snatching the microphone from Catherine. "Something about this whole comedy grand prix just feels... fabricated, like there was some hidden purpose behind it!"

Catherine snatched her microphone back. "I'd understand if you felt a bit sore about your loss, but I didn't think you would go so far as to make up some story to make it seem like-"

"No, we feel it too."

The reporter turned around to see Ronnie Anne and Lincoln approaching her.

"Tough Love?" the reporter asked in surprise.

"We were watching some of the previous teams' performances, and something just felt a bit off about them," Ronnie Anne explained. "The one that felt the most off, however, was Maggie's statement to Luan. It's almost like she had it prepared already."

"And sure, she probably just saw Luan losing early a mile away," Lincoln guessed, earning a cry of "Hey!" from Luan nearby. "But still, don't you think it's suspicious?"

The reporter hummed. "When you put it like that, it was kinda spontaneous-"

"There's also her sudden disappearence."

Everybody turned around to see Luna and Mrs. Johnson approaching, with the woman speaking, "After the first set pairs, Maggie just suddenly vanished without a trace."

"And now, Carol's gone too, but this time, nobody's replacing her," Luna added as she folded her arms. "Whichever way you look at it, something fishy's going on."

"Now that you mention it, Carol did replace Maggie right away when she vanished, so the fact nobody's replacing Carol is kinda concerning," Catherine scratched her chin. "And I can't replace her either, since I have to work as a reporter-

"May we add something?"

Everyone turned around to the source of the voice, who weren't two of the previous contestants, but the judges, Polly Pain, Haiku, Giggles, and Tabby. They had finally gotten off their chairs, and they moved Maggie's chair to reveal a secret tunnel behind it.

"How long has that been there?!" Lincoln exclaimed in shock.

"Since the competition began," Giggles somberly explained. "We saw Maggie go through that tunnel sometime before she vanished, but she made us promise not to tell anybody of her whereabouts."

"Which wasn't hard for her, taking into account her... agressive personality," Haiku shuddered.

"And Carol just went through the same tunnel as well!" Polly added. "Wherever the tunnel leads, we're bound to find Maggie and Carol there. So, does anybody want to come?"

Words didn't even need to be said, everybody, that is the reporters, the judges, the losers, and the remainin contestants, just immediately went through the tunnel-one by one of course-and they all crawled through it until they landed at the other side, where they found themselves at the start of a long hallway. Everybody exchanged looks before walking towards the end of the hallway, which Catherine took the chance to report.

"Looks like we found ourselves in the middle of some hallway, where will it lead us? Stay tuned to find out."

Eventually, the end of the hallway was reached, where everybody saw a door in there leading to a "control room" of sorts. And so, one of the judges opened the door, and what they saw on the other end surprised everybody.

The control room was a fairly large room, and it had to be to hold the several dozen monitors hanging on the wall. And who was watching these monitors? Maggie, Carol, and presumably "Mr B." or whatever his name was, sitting on the chair.

"So this is where you've been!" Tabby exclaimed, getting the emo and ditzy reporter's attention.

"Glad to see you finally decided to follow me," Maggie replied, before noticing the rest of the group. "Too bad you decided to come here with... guests."

"Who's behind the chair?" Lincoln asked. "Mr. B?!"

Maggie chuckled. "Yes..."

The emo snapped her fingers, and Carol turned the chair around-revealing there was nobody there-as she finished, "And no."

"What do you mean by "and no?" Lori asked.

Maggie rolled her eyes and sat on the chair, before stating, "You're looking at Mr. B right now!"

Carol casually added, "B stands for Bobby."

Everybody gasped... but not before showing confusion.

"So, wait, what's this supposed to mean?" Lola asked.

"Maggie, like, played all of us for fools and pulled the strings from behind the scenes to control how the grand prix went, obviously!" Leni answered.

"You were behind the comedy grand prix this entire time?!" Luan exclaimed, taking a step forward towards the emo. "Why would you do this, Maggie?!"

"To finally call you out for your terrible humor!" Maggie slammed her fist down her armrest. "So once you inevitably lost, I trashed your sense of humor, and then I made sure that you and the other losers watched the other contestants to see what sort of humor was considered funny or not!"

"And what about the first place prize?!" Luna added, taking a step forward.

"Be on the front line when I told all of this to you once it was all over," Maggie put her arms behind her head and crossed her legs. "But quite clearly, you decided to skip a couple steps."

Maggie turned around to face the monitors. "Now, I'm going to guess all of you want to walk out of the building, enraged at having been played by a pessimistic emo teenager, to save the last bit of dignity you all have."

"Not quite."

"We're going to have a final team: You and Carol!" Luan stated. "And the rest of us will be the judges!"

After a couple seconds of silence, Maggie turned back to the teams and asked:

"Okay, why?"

Luan raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Why is this even necessary?" the emo growled. "You know my plan, millions of people who've watched this whole thing-and didn't turn off their tv after the statement was over-know about it too, and you definitely seem angry about it. Angry enough to show us a lesson, even. What's the point of us competing in the finals, if you're all just going to vote for me and Carol to lose?"

"We're not," Polly stated. "We've been unbiased until now-at least, I think we were-and to make this fair, what you just told us won't have any effect on our judgement; We'll solely judge your comedic ability."

Maggie scoffed. "My sense of humor is fairly dark and niche, and Carol would most likely be all over the place."

"Dude, this entire competition has been all over the place," Luna pointed out. "I'm pretty sure that whatever you got, it's bound to make someone laugh."

"Besides, what better way to end the competition than having one last comedic display by the orchestrators of this whole thing?" Catherine suggested. "After all, we've gotten up to this point, we have to end it somehow."

Then, the reporter leaned her microphone towards the emo. "So, what do you say?"

"What about Mrs. Johnson, Leni, Lynn, and Luna?" Maggie asked, raising an eyebrow. "They were supposed to be on the finals, weren't they?"

"It's okay, Luna and I weren't prepared for it anyway," Mrs. Johnson remarked, waving her hand in a dismissive manner.

"And besides, you being the final team would be much more interesting," Luna added as she walked forward and leaned closer to Maggie's face. "You tricked us into doing all this nonsensical prank stuff, and now, it's time for you to show your comedic skills, if you even have any that is!"

After a couple seconds in silence, Maggie gently pushed Luna away and got off her chair, before stating:

"If that's what you want, that's what you're gonna get!"

"You Heard it right here and now, everyone!" Catherine exclaimed to the camera. "After revealing her true colors, the emo known as Maggie and her partner in crime, Carol Pingrey, have accepted one last challenge against the other competitors! What kind of jokes will they pull from their sleeves?! Find out-"

"Before you say "right now", let me point out that we were challenged out of nowhere," Maggie growled, folding her arms. "Carol and I are going to need a lot of time to think up our strategy."

"Give us a half hour and we should be ready," Carol added with a shrug.

After a couple of seconds in silence, Catherine finished:

"Find out in a half hour from here, and stay tuned for, the "Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix!" See ya!"


	13. Apologies

**Sorry for not updating this story in FOREVER. Compared to how my other stories have been updated in a more normal, or at least comfortable, manner, it may feel like I'm not paying as much attention to this story as I should.**

 **Well, time for the bombshell: I'm kind of stumped on jokes for the grand finale. Not only that, but I don't know if the grand finale should be an actual comedy routine or something else, try and get this story to end with a bang.**

 **So, yeah, you could say this story's on an indefinite hiatus until I figure what to do next, and until I have the time to actually DO that next stuff.**

 **Sorry for the inconveniences.**


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